A new life with you.

2012-01-26T18:18:00.001+08:00

Its been how long since I last came into my blog, but I've not forgotten about anything. School was kinda bored, didnt really make friends with my classmates. Just too many malay.. Ohya, im sick exactly on 12am of cny like seriously. I vomited.. After that I had midnight movie with my family, but I went in and out of the theatre to vomit, and slept through the movie. How awful can it be ): Diarrhea, headache, nausea, vomit = stomach flu? Til now, im still sick and i've not been eating for continuous 5 days. I guess I had stomach flu, didnt went to see the doctor. Let it be..

Boy, everytime I see your wall, I don't know where did you heard those stories from or what you've assumed. Why do you always believe one side story.. Even last time, everyone in upetgamart heard stories from sebastian and all starts to believe him while I hid in a corner.. Let me tell you, until you realized that everything wasn't true, im already gone

2012-01-15T17:49:00.000+08:00

No, you dont love me anymore.. We're meant to be passerby.. I miss you..

2012-01-12T22:40:00.003+08:00

Boy, can you tell me what do you want..? Sigh.. When I saw your post, I was really shocked, scared and sad.. I dare not text you, afraid you'll not care about my message, but in the end I did. I really wish im right beside you at that moment, being there when your in trouble.. All my wishful thinking, I cant avoid. Your the one that didnt keep your promise. Dont tell me its an accident. If you've taken good care of yourself, you wont drink and ride on the road already. You know its dangerous, you know your family will be very upset, but you wont know how I'll feel... Did you see a silly girl breaking down even though i dont know what happen, even though the silence between us is daunting? You wont know.. Please take good care of yourself, if you don't care how I feel, just care about your friends and family feeling ba. I know my words wont help in anything, but I tried my best to care for you. I tried to text you although I know you wouldn't like it.. I tried.. I really very scared to lose you, seriously.. I really don't know what to do anymore, really.. I wanne see you, I wanne hug you tight again..

2012-01-11T19:20:00.003+08:00

Im going mad staying in this school and class )': Save meeeeeeee. PRAY HARD TMR APPEAL SUCCESS! I cant imagine my future, being a girl repairing computer etc. Ohgod, save me seriously ): I've been a mute since the school starts. Except for the second day, I didnt go school. Everyone in my class is in groups or pairs or whatsoever, and me being the loner. Everyone starts whispering and stuff. I don't feel like talking or making friends, only malay girls talked to me abit. What kind of school is this, having break like in every lesson? And I dont even wanne go canteen to eat. Its a waste of time for me. Im adviced to go study parttime private o in ite, but i couldn't find. It's either i take private o or stay in this course for 2 years and proceed to poly straight! I need good results. I need cca. I need good attendance. Sigh.. Why no one suckpork me?! die where liao ):

Anyway, whenever I see your fb, it's like I've done something bad? But what have I done? Im not guilty conscious. But can you at least tell me? ): Sigh... I dont care who that sarah is to you, but well~ i dont wish to guess, assume, or anything. I keep quiet, I dont want anything happen.. My biggest regret is that I didnt give you a good enough reason to stay, that you happened to run away.. Sigh.. Iloveyou Imissyou boy.. Do you? Or have you found a better girl?

2012-01-09T22:41:00.002+08:00

First day of school sucks like hell. People do stare, but I didn't think im pretty or ugly or fat whateva shit thats why they did that -.- I didnt care much. Today too many break, 3 breaks 3hours alone. Urghs~ Good thing is, my class has no ahbeng but many people with problems instead. Have been staring at my phone and message all my friends to make my time pass quickly. Actually nothing much today, cause I went off after the game. It's sucha waste of time, tomorrow too.. I know there's a guy that posted on my wall, he's ex-springfieder too but I don't know him! Today he saw me in school and suddenly called my name, I didn't care like seriously -.- I didnt went back school to get my olevel mt results as its already very late le ): But looking at my friend's result for it, they didnt really score well. Im so afraid of mine too ): At least I know I tried my best can le! I really hope my appeal will be success, I really pray hard.. Jiayou Jessilyn!

Yes im over-sensitive, damn I know. When I saw your facebook, with those post and comments, I get so afraid.. Im afraid that one day you'll think im not worth it anymore.. Im afraid about alot of things.. Seriously, who can tell me, how can I prove to you that even though I go ITE, my love for you will stay and im willing to wait faithfully. Im serious.. No one will believe me, but I'll prove me actions. Just watch. But I'll wait silently. Who says I've to know every guy in ITE so that I've got a better life there? Who says so? Why can't I be alone, and do well on my studies? If one day you started to move on, or halfway there, do let me know. No matter how much it hurts, just let me know (: I admit, I feel really hurt whenever there's girl post on your wall or you post on their wall. I would breakdown, and everytime it hurts so badly. And I always think I'll never be the reason that able to make you smile and laugh so effortlessly, that hurts more deeply I swear. It's alrights, I tell myself that everything's alright (: I would always want best for my silly boy, his studying now. I shouldn't give him more stress. No more. I don't wish to see him sad, I know he wants me to move on, I tried more than he imagined. I wont let anyone into my life and heart anymore, knowing that I'll never be good enough and doesn't want people to suffer. So silly boy, don't worry about me (: Focus more on your studies now ogays, jiayou! Yes, I always wished that you'll asked me go up to your house one day, to chat, to study, to play. Any reasons. But well, I understand. Know what? There's one time I really wanne go your school outside to fetch you as a surprise, but I guess you wouldn't wanne see me there >< Ohya, know what? I don't even have to go to school on the friday! Its elearning day, thats why dont have to go as they dont take attendance the. Its just using the computer the whole day doing your own things, rather stay home. Jiayou dimpleboy! Must smile more arh, but don't anyhow show your dimple! Later everyone fall in love with you :x Imissyouboy, Ido..

2012-01-08T19:44:00.002+08:00

Today is freezing day I swear. Kept on raining and it's so cold! Have you wear jacket anot? Don't catch a cold arh! Sick will feel very lousy one, like how I'm feeling now ): headache and flu. Urghs! So I went eastpoint alone to get socks for sleeping at daiso and socks for school. Weather too cold til I can't sleep, this socks will make me feel warm ^^ hehe! It's furry also. Then I went home after that. Can see I didn't spend my last day wisely, but it's ogays! I don't wish to do anything also. Tomorrow dooms day, I hate it.. The only thing I can hope for my class is that no ahbeng ahlian ahseng please ); I don't wish to get harass, whistled at.. The feeling sucks like hell I swear.. I praying that my appeal for office course is successful ); on the 12th, sigh.. After school, I still have to go back my secondary school to get my olevel my result. Hoping for a grade 2! Goodluck to me ogays!

When I send a risky message, my heart beat skipped. I may not know what you're thinking but I just wanne tell you that, the 'I hate you' post wasn't meant true from my heart, which means I don't hate you. I still love you.. But you don't know that, that's why you wrote all those in your Facebook. You wouldn't.. Sigh, what can I do? Nothing but wait silently (: takecare boy.

2012-01-08T03:31:00.002+08:00

Time check: it's 3.31am already! And im still right in front of my lappy watching movie. Urghs~ Today I went tm to buy my school shoe, wanted to go get toms but it's at cine and I guess it looks weird on me so yea, normal shoe. Then met sabrina and off to changi point for her rabbit's food. I didn't spend my last 2 days wisely, so later I guess I'll be staying home instead.. I know it sounds pathetic as everyone's gona used their last day of holiday wisely while me staying home doing the same routine again. WHATEVA~ I really don't feel like going to that ITE, im really have no interest in making friends with those guys in the school, the feeling sucks like hell I swear.. I need some secure and protection from you, urghs wthell lar.. Some things I noticed, when I type with computer, I don't really know how to write long and spill everything out. But when I write it with pen, it feels like I've got many things to note it down.

Anyway, how are you boy? It's been a long time since we last seen each other and talk. Things may be different now hur? I know im still stuck in my fantasy world, but I hope you know im trying. Im trying very hard that you could even imagine. Im trying to forget all the sad thoughts and be more understanding now, im doing my best. Ogays, I know i've been saying this from the previous times, but now, I meant it.. It's just a matter of time, im trying.. Ohya, you should drink lesser now! It'll affect your studies like seriously, im hoping the best for you. I'll always be there whenever you need me, in the future. I know you may not need me or my help on studies now, but I just wanne let you know that I won't let you faced it alone. <: Dimpleboy will always smile, am I right? (: tsk tsk.

2012-01-06T18:33:00.003+08:00

Well my days are techincally spent lazing at home sleeping.. I know it sounds pretty pathetic but I'm having the time of my life in dreamland. Blasting songs, watching movie, munching on crackers, bring my dog down for stroll, do situps at home. Ohneooooo~ I swear Im growing so fat as these are my daily routines if im not going out ): Are you happy? You should try munching on crackers while watching movie, it's a very nice feeling! Hehe! 3 more days school's gona start, the fear is growing greater, urghs! Boy, I've actually developed a tremendous fondness towards reading again. So I hope I'll treat my studies like a storybook too, be it whatever shit course im taking! Imissyouboy. Hurhur! Ohya, I'll be doing blogshop photoshoot next friday/saturday for my friend's blogshop. Her permanent model was not available for the time being, so she asked me. It's $10/hr, just helping her only. ^^ How are you boy? How're you coping with your studies now! Isit difficult? If you really need help, I've got really useful notes, maybe I can help you too. I may go ITE, but my studies ain't bad ogays! TSK. Im going to walk my dog now, zaijian! :D

2012-01-06T00:06:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, which was the 5th, I went to 3 places alone. First was macpherson ITE to register myself and buy uniform. Secondly was SP's open house to take a look. Thirdly was Jurong Point as I've never been there before, since im somehow near to boonlay's station, then I went there first before I start school. I swear these places just made me so lost that I've got to ask for directions :/ So suagu. I thought I could buy clothes over there, but nothing seems to catch my eye, only dreamcatchers hanging at one shop, forget the name le. Actually, going out alone seems ogays but the only problem is, feels so lonely, looking at couples around...... WELL, I cabbed back home instead of taking mrt even it's just outside the shopping mall lar -.- Urghs, money fly anyhow. Have to really save money already, my pocket appear to have one big hole le >: 3 more days, school's gona start and I already have this fear. I don't wish to get stared at, make fun of, surrounded by, harassment etc.. How I wish your still by my side, protecting me.... URGHS! I thought by asking about you, you'll reply me, but it's alrights. Hope you're happier now, <: Jiayou oh. Hope we can study together someday. Goodnai :D

2012-01-04T22:32:00.004+08:00

Today isn't a good day. Father bought durians, and my whole house just smells like durian! :@ It makes me sick of it, and the weather in the early afternoon just make me so giddy. Til now, im still feeling lousy.. Around late afternoon, the weather was cloudy and its so windy that I've got the feel to go to east coast park alone. But I just don't feel really well, so I stayed at home instead. Wasted! >: Tomorrow I've got to go macpherson ite to register myself, I swear I feel so lonely lar~ Bobian, separated with my friends. 5 more days, my school's gona start soon.

Im gona be a good girl.

Im gona change my thinking.

Im gona study hard and prove to you that I ain't that bad.

Somehow, I need your support too also ma <: . Just wanne let you know that I'll be there for you even though you may not care about me, as in physically. But I swear I'll try everything to be in your arms again, to know your grace, to have your love within me. (When the time is right) I guess you've been real busy, it's alrights if you didn't reply me that time. Hope you'll bring me out soon or meet me soon, I also would like to see you woofwoorf ^^ We also can study together, hope you don't mind too. Hehe. Sometimes I do hate myself; for destroying my own fate, destiny, chance with my own rotted hand. Silly boy, if your still reading my blog everyday, don't anyhow think. You're a nice guy, maybe you've met this stupid dimpleless girl the wrong time. You deserve someone better. Hope you'll take care of yourself ba. Must ogays! ♥

2012-01-03T23:01:00.002+08:00

Hi boy, when I saw you being tagged by your friend that you're studying early in the morning, I believe you've went back for studying already <: That's a good thing. So I sent you a text, hoping it would make your day better like how it used to. You must be real busy right now, like taking care of dog and studying. If you need any help, I still have useful notes from myself and my teachers ^^ I know you're smarter than me, and if you make it to sec 5, I feel so stupid to be with you.. Remember to sleep early as you've to wake up real early! Later have heavy eyebags and panda eye, bu shuai le. I hope you're happier with your life now, :D Now Im having real bad flu, ): Must really take good care of myself le! You also (: And eat fatfat likea oink!~ Imissyousillyboy.

2012-01-02T19:08:00.002+08:00

He hadn't reply me, I bet his really busy and tired since yesterday ba. Maybe until now also still snoring in his dream! Oinkoink~ Wondering how he's gona train his dog, hehehe. Maybe will train til forget me le lor :/ Wait! The cake cannot leave for so many days eh, will become hard then not nice already! ): Hur, how to tell him! Ohneooooo. I dare not message him.. Hope he knows what to do ba. Today I stayed home the whole day, very sian arh! And boy, you know what? I just realized mai right knee has 4 orhcheh that forms a square! You make one neh >< When wanne fight again! Grrr.

Everyday, when night falls, I would sit by the window and reflect on everything. I miss you badly. It's a new year, and I reflect on 2011. Let's turn our mistakes into lessons and our fears into hopes. We should have a faith in ourselves and be strong. Hope everything goes well for us for this year ba. Maybe one day when the time is right, we'll be back together or not. May god bless you and your family. <:

2012-01-01T19:26:00.003+08:00

Hi boy, I hope the cake taste good hur! Ogays. Let me tell you everything about this thing lar. Yesterday, I baked this cake already. I wanted to make whip cream but I fail ): The recipe so weird! I make til my face also got flour etc, roar! Like meow meow :3 . So I can't cover up the sides, some more got one hole there! I took out the paper, then stuck on the cake, become 1 big hole le ): Don't mind hor? It's the sincerity that counts right? Then I planned to go your house there in the morning dabao your favourite wanton mee and ask you out to take. But I see you're not even online after 12 already, so I kept on checking facebook. Even til 6+, you're not online so I guess you've slept already ba. Actually Ialso still thinking if I should give it to you anot, because of your facebook posts.. I kept on tossing and turning, even when sleep also will wake up after 1 hour. Then I finally saw you online in the afternoon! I quickly prepared and cabbed down, I heard your voice.. But you didn't reply my message, so I planned to wait til your reply as I saw there's many shoes outside your house. I dare not pass it to your mum when you went out. In the end, you're back home already. I wanted to knock on your door but im still so afraid that you'll be unhappy as your latest post was like you're starting to hate me already.. I quickly put below your window and ran down. My heart was pounding so fast when I heard you opened your door so roughly! I was feeling weak and pale that moment as Im not feeling really well. My friend wanted to drive me there but I said I go alone will have more sincerity. Then I bused home after that.

I hope you won't mind me giving you that ba.. Im still waiting for the diary, I really wanne know what you're thinking. Well boy, now that you've got a dog, you'll be very busy training it ba (: Jiayou on taking care of it ogays! Go upetgamart to buy dog foods, it's much more cheaper. Acana and breedcare is the best dry food for dogs, hehe. Breedcare~~~~~~ GRRRRRRR. Later doudou dont want you already cause you've got a dog le :/ Hope to see it someday. Must learn to take good care of it ogays! Must lessen up playing your game niao, boooooooo~ and cannot let your dog smell the smoke of your cigarette! It's bad. Takecare boy <:

2012-01-01T00:01:00.003+08:00

Welcome to 2012 and (': ! I smile, I smile. So, last minute went for steamboat with sisters at kallang. I admit I drank with them, but not that much. Then off to orchard to walk around with them as I don't wanne go home early, I'll tear badly.. Walk and walk, we reached cine and I was so afraid to see you. Then I went home alone while they go find their friends. It's 2012 boy, you want me to smile, so I went to find my sisters instead of being alone at home right? (: Hope you enjoy your day too, being tagged at so many places with your friends. Im actually awaiting for your message at 12am, but I received none. I know im hopeless, i know it's ridiculous to send that message.. Well, it's over. 24 more hours to the end of our nightmare.

Thanks boy for everything in 2011.

Thanks boy for your hugs.

Thanks boy for your kisses.

Thanks boy for leading me through all the obstacles.

Thanks boy for your butterfly necklace.

Thanks boy for your sweetness.

Thanks boy for being there for me whenever I need you.

Thanks boy for scolding me, as I'll start to learn more.

Thanks boy for appreciating what I've done for you.

Thanks boy for understanding me.

Thanks boy for accepting my flaws, which is very bad I know.

Thanks boy for loving me, even though it's hard to.

Thanks boy for trying to be the best for me, I see, I feel it.

Thanks boy for making me smile every time when im with you, and sometimes so effortlessly.

We're starting a new year. Things may be different already, but my love will stay, my heart is with you. Please take good care of it, ♥ a big love for you ♥ Take care silly dimpleboy. May God's grace, mercy and blessings be with you. <:

2011-12-30T23:59:00.003+08:00

Exactly 12 more hours to countdown. Should I smile because we're still friends or cry because im losing you..? I shall tell you that I smile through from 11:59pm-00:01am, hope you'll feel better. I don't know how to stay strong, but I must force myself because I wanne care for your feelings more than mine now. (': Yes, I cry. I cry very badly when Im out today. There's really a barrier name 'fear' already. I don't dare to tell you anything anymore. I don't dare to look into your eyes anymore. I don't dare to text you anymore. Just everything, I don't dare. Im hoping for something good to happen tomorrow, when the time is right, but I shall not ask anything from you anymore. The two songs I send you, was the song I always listen. Hope you like it too.

Anyway, Im posted to a course at macpherson ite networking, but I appealed for office at simei instead. I hope they'll accept. Boy, I really hope you won't give up on me even though I going ITE. Im sorry if I didn't appeal, retain or take private. I know im stupid, but I hope you know I did tried my best.. I know you're afraid of losing me, I know. But why must you think that all girls are the same? I know you're afraid that I might become a bad girl in ite. I know you're afraid i'll fall for another guy. I know you're just so afraid of losing me, that's the main point. Im really sorry.. Boy, I hope you know I'll be waiting for you no matter what, but I will still care for your feelings. If I didn't wait or don't love you, I think by now I already got a guy already.. But no! Just hope one day we'll just spill everything out together, I miss you boy.. I want to hug you so much so much.. Just why! Why must we spend the countdown this way, the worst 16 years life I ever had )': Sorry if I can't control my emotions, but I know you'll understand too (': Goodnai boy, sweetsweet dreams! Hope you did kiss domo before sleeping. Oink! ♥

2011-12-29T18:23:00.003+08:00

I don't know why I always want to hear what's in his mind, but when I look at his face, I choked on my words. I wonder how to solve my problem, by spilling out everything that's in my heart. By drinking? By crying? There's too much that are left unsaid. Hmm, since he told me things that I was left speechless, then time will help me understand. I know GOD will make the ugly sides change for us, to be better. Yesterday, I wants to hold him real tight and never let him go. Never ever. Now, I miss yesterday. Wondering when will be the day that we'll never let each other go. I know you're waiting too right? But I need to be alittle understanding, that everything won't goes how I want it to be. Now I got the chance to text you again, I will cherish it. I don't want the silence to be daunting again. Sigh, I don't know if I should feel jealous and stay calm or don't care about those girls post on his facebook wall. It still hurts my heart so badly.. I miss him, what can I do? Now his single, maybe people don't even know he has me once, maybe girls will flirt with him, contact him now.. Sigh, don't know what to do.. I think too much.. The nightmare for us is coming in 2 days time, how are we going to overcome? I don't know if I should bring up the matter again, because I fear he'll get angry and stressed. It's so scary that I would tear anytime again. Well, let nature take its course ba. I know where I stand, so I shouldn't talk much about his life. I miss you boy.

2011-12-29T01:03:00.002+08:00

FINALLY IM OUTTA MY HOUSE AFTER 4 ROTTING DAYS. And where did I go? Your house! ^^ Im glad you made time to see me, finally I get to see your face so clearly. Somehow chitchatted and behind was about our relationship. It's still not settled.. But well, boy, I need time to absorb and understand. I don't know if you're drunk or what, that you agreed being best friend with me, and slowly see if we're able to get back together. Yea, I put up not much hope but I trust god would help us. No matter you're drunk or not drunk, I still trust your words. I find myself so silly, asking you to be my boyf for that day of countdown only.. I know people will bitch about me, so I drop that subject immediately.. You're sound asleep now I guess? Eyes so red already! + you'r having bad flu, ohneooooo ): I hope you did listen to me not switching on your aircon and cover blanket. As you know how freezing cold it is outside already! Today I've got 2 moods, happy and sad. You asked me to sleep early, or not you wont an xin sleep first! Boy, you didn't know I started to have insomnia for 1months+ already, and it's a serious insomnia. Soon to have depression, same as you. But you saved me! Shall go bathe now and lye on my bed lo! Or not someone will be angry with me later >< I don't know why, but I started to have the mood to do things already. You're the reason. ♥

2011-12-28T16:38:00.006+08:00

Haha, I thought today will be a good day. At first was, then nightmare came. 3 more days. Knowing that countdown is just 3 days time just fuck my mind. Tears literally falls whenever the date draws nearer. Fuck my like seriously, but xiguan le. You're going to enjoy with your friends, I hope you're happy. You don't want to bring all the sadness to 2012. Stay happy boy. You'll never know that I freaking tried my BEST. But what to do when you wanne let go, then suddenly you don't bear to as the guy is the guy you love most, sacrificed most, that you really want to be so devoted to? Have you tried this before? HAVE YOU ANOT?! I tried to understand slowly. Boy, don't worry. Go, be free. Maybe you'll find someone better in 2012. I accept my fate. Im exhausted. Im exhausted of how I am made to feel, so fucking useless, worthless and stupid. Ogays, let's just stop pretending, assuming, dreaming. My fault, my sin. I quit, you win. What's done is done, what's said has said. The damage is done. You look in my eyes, look at how my tears falls. I tried so hard, but you don't want me anymore. Just like this.. Maybe it's because I know im just a rotten and failure apple. Nothing to save it anymore.. Nothing.. Go, be free. Im fine, don't worry (:

2011-12-27T21:49:00.008+08:00

Nope, no reply today. So I guess you've enjoyed your day ba? I always wanted to tell you right in your face, that I fucking miss you badly.. Just 4 more days and it's the countdown for new year and our .. . I'll stay home on that day. You'll meetup with your friends of course. I remember I saw 1 photo, you're with your friends and 2 girls. I guess it's christmas eve ba? Sigh.. How can I not be jealous? Those people around you can see you happily, but not me with you.. ): I feel like finding you during midnight, but you won't want and like it too. What should I do boy, sigh.. I really wanne see you so bad..

At 12am, he send me a goodnight message. So I thought his going to orhorh already, and I replied him back! Then continuously, we text and text. But, I guess his busy with his things ba. ): Anyway, I've told him that I miss him badly, I can only hope he'll continue to text me again tomorrow? I can't resist smiling at what he said. He just made me smile with his silly, simple words. No matter what's in the message, I feel loved by him. He said he had went for his shopping spree and bought the things he needed! Waniao ley, I haven't even go for my shopping spree lor ): New year is coming, I was thinking if I could tag along with him, BUT FAT HOPE LAR! So awkward, sigh )'; Looking at your friends, my friends, strangers with their loved ones, are going for the countdown, preparing to kiss from 31st December 2011 23:59 - 1January2012 00.01am. How sweet, boy, will you? :x I wanne cry lar!!!!! I thought I could find him during midnight, BUT ALSO FAT HOPE LAR -.- sigh... Tears dripped, .. )': I MISS YOU BABY!!!! )': does miracle happen

2011-12-27T03:25:00.002+08:00

Boy, it's 3.26am now and it's 27th december lo! I know you're waiting for this day right? Freeman loooooooo. (: Happy til maybe now also can't sleep ba, :x few more hours you'll be out le, maybe you'll reply my message, maybe you won't. But I hope you'll enjoy your day ba. Ohya, did you bring every single thing out including the box of hearts, diy frame, photos, wallet, card and letter out? If you lose 1 thing, I'll be very angry and sad the oh! D:< Remember to be good to your family ogay? Dont create trouble le. When you're drunk, try to control yourself. You always want fight fight, come I fight with you! <: So worried when you're drunk outside ): Remember to do something good, like continue working or find other better job? Adopt a dog and take good care of it? Going out with friends and bond more? Go more family outing, accompany your family more is the best thing you can do now. Don't let anyone worry and disappoint le. Not good the oh! Remember to wash your face daily, later pimple pimple like my face arh ): my face, sigh.. Remember to eat more, I guess you've become skinnier ba? I don't know. But I didn't break your promises, so you must eat more and drink lesser! Hurhur. Don't go so much clubbing le lar, sigh.. Im sorry, but I only can worry one side as I won't know every single thing you'll be doing like I used to know.. I miss you boy, sigh.. Hope you'll message me soon ba. I wanne see you so badly...

2011-12-26T16:20:00.008+08:00

Just wanne let you know only, nothing else.. Not taking a knife placed on your neck to force you, I know it's all about my hopeless thoughts or a sad stories that you said, but it's all true from my heart.. I didn't forget or break your promises. I stayed strong, just to wait for a change. Im still waiting.. I was on the verge of tears. I blinked once and felt tears dropping from my eyes. I tried not to blink but failed. Each blink brought more tears.. You told me you're drunk yesterday, yet I believed your words still. I thought we could see each other today, but no.. I thought I could pick you up after you discharged tomorrow and have a chat, but no.. My hope was destroyed already, totally. Do you know something? When you said you want to see me, I actually cooked chicken soup for you, waiting for you near the MRT station at 11 already. But when I saw you, I hid at another corner. My heart starts pumping so fast that im so afraid to go ahead. I told myself, am I creating more trouble by doing this? I sighed and went back home instead.. You can say im making out sad story, but how many times have I tried to surprise you, you should know. Everything I thought won't come true. Tomorrow, it's tomorrow.. You'll be discharged already and im not by your side, how useless can I be? You tell me. Lastly, you told me other day then meet up and eat, BUT you don't know when. Im waiting for that day, really but will this happen? It's alrights, I still will stay strong and wait for your message. The thought of counting down to new year and our 5th month just made me teared so badly because knowing that the people around you on that day, wouldn't be me, never me.. It's my first time again. 2011 just end this way and welcoming 2012 this way. Baby, im very sorry to be this way, you can't blame me too, counting down to 2 big event, how sad can it be? Im very sorry to be this way, because I miss you too much, too much.. Im sorry to be this way, because I had planned long ago, to go through all this occasions together with you, happily but im the one whom destroyed the plan.. It's too hurting for me, I hope you're thinking this way too.. Im sorry boy.. I hope you understand why Im being like this, im really sorry.. I know you're acting like you don't care, but I know deep down it hurts you too.. Sigh.. I really love you too.. I just wanne see you and hugged you tight, so bad so bad.. Even though I wont be able to know know what will you be doing everyday after you discharged, I hope you'll be happy than before. I'll be waiting for your message, no matter how long. Im waiting..

Whenever you're angry with me, not that you don't love me, but you don't want me to repeat the same mistake again and you're teaching me too.

Whenever you kiss my forehead, I know you want to be with me willingly.

Whenever you chain-smoked and drink, I know something is running in your mind.

Whenever you think about my past r/s, I know you're afraid of losing me.

Whenever you heard that I've got problem outside, you'll find ways to protect me, don't want me to get hurt.

Whenever you're feeling lousy, you will try to not spoil my mood of the day and play with me.

Whenever you're cruel to me, you don't want me to know that you're hurting too.

Boy, isit true? Everything that you've done, not that you don't love me, is that you love me too much that you're afraid of hurting me and losing me. Am I right boy? ♥

2011-12-26T02:12:00.003+08:00

Finally my lonely christmas is over. Every year christmas is the same, single, alone. But this year, I went cine for countdown with my sisters. Suddenly, I've got the feel to message you. Again. Whenever I've got the feel to message you, I'll pinch myself, slap myself or throw my phone. I've tried everything to fight back the urge boy. But this time, I just wanne message you no matter what. It's really over my limit, I really miss you real badly.. I wanne see you and hug you so bad so bad.. Tomorrow you'll be discharged, I wonder what are you gona do after you're out. I really hope to see your face. Planning to hide behind a pillar to see you, sigh.. Sometime images came into my mind, seeing you holding my hand out to everywhere you go and tell your friends im your girlfriend. Like how you used to before we're together. Last time I used to think, if I should put in a relationship with you, so people won't talk to me like im single and being so annoying. But you always skip my questions when I asked. Well, it's alrights. Ignore them will do. Boy, I really wanne be with you again, but I understand how will you feel and what you'll think. I know it takes time, a best couple is when their girlf/boyf acts as their best friend too. I always asked myself, why did I care about love when I know it won't last? And finally I realized, it's because I always tell myself you're gona be my last guy that i will be so devoted to, without any complains. Never ask why I love you, just accept that I do & that I will for the rest of my life. I really wanne see you and hug you real tightly, I won't let go of that moment. But how? Time..

I can only give my life and show you all I am in the breath I breathe. I will promise you my heart, and give you all you need if it takes some time. If you tell me you don't need me anymore, that our love won't last forever, I will ask you for a chance to try again to make our love a little better.

2011-12-25T17:50:00.005+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS BOY! Went countdown with my sisters at cine yesterday. Was really hoping to see you at cine, and I really did! But I guess you didn't see til me ba? I don't know.. Hope you did enjoy yesterday ba. But why did you have to go rounding alone.. You know I'll be worried, ); when I went home, I quickly see your fb video. I swear I cried badly, I didnt know you'll make a video for me. I also downloaded and put it in my itouch, so when I miss you, I can see it from my itouch. I did make a video for you with pictures, it may not be like other girls so sweet, but I hope you know what I wane let you know. I love you boy, I really wish to pick you up after you discharged.. But you don't want me to go. Shouldn't have text you that message, but I thought there'll be miracles but nah, im making myself happy.. I know you may feel unprepared, but sigh... I thought I'll be the girl going through thick and thins with you, even after you discharged but I guess it's hopeless, really hopeless.. 2 more days to your discharged, 6 more days to countdown, will I get to see you again? Will we back again? I miss you, I really wanna see you so badly... )': When can we really sit down and talk things out again? Or our relationship really crashed..

2011-12-24T00:26:00.002+08:00

Hi boy, it's christmas eve already and 3 more days you'll be discharged! (: How great. Hmm, I saw you posting at late hours, I guess you've your home leave le ba? Remember to sleep early alright? Don't watch movie til late late sleep. Sleep well on your bed with your moomoo! No have domo to hug, ): Enjoy your day later too. You're a christian, so I bet you'll celebrate christmas with your family. Of course~ hehe. I miss you, was hoping to see you at town later for countdown but I know im waiting for the impossible. Hmm.. I just wanne see your old smile, no matter whose the one behind the reason, I hope you're happy with your life now. It hurts to know im not the reason but yea, your smile is still the cutest♥ Nowadays I really feel unwell, but tomorrow I still wanne go for countdown as it's my first time. I know town will be full of colourful lights, so beautiful. Sigh, but I still miss you love you alot.. alot.. Goodnai boy,♥

2011-12-23T03:02:00.002+08:00

Boy, I don't know if you still feels the same as I feel now. I miss you badly, real bad. I really wish to see you and talk to you. At this ungodly hour, I break down and cry. I just can't handle anymore, im exhausted.. Thinking if you've eaten, if you've tried to cut down on drinking and smoking, if you've cover blanket with domo, if you've taken good care of yourself as it's so cold everyday now, if you've apply lotion to prevent your skin to be so rough, and if you've think of me.. I know you'll feel annoying if I kept throwing myself to you, but I just wanne prove that you really mean alot to me, alot alot that you can't think of.. Im sorry if I give you anything else in the future, just accept it to make me feel better please. You can throw everything that will make you think of me, if you decided to forget me, clearly.. 2 more days to christmas, 4 more days and you'll discharged, 8 more days to countdown. Time really flies hur? Do you know what's the greatest gift for christmas? It's celebrating with your love ones. I guess you'll have your homeleave either on the 24th or 25th, as it is a public holiday. Hope you'll enjoy with your friends and family, maybe town or club or home, I don't know. Just enjoy and stay happy! It's a joyous day, must enjoy alright? (: I'll be going town on the christmas eve with my sisters, it's my first time going for countdown at town too. I've never celebrate christmas with any guys before, haha. I thought this year wouldn't be the same as I'll get to celebrate with you, no exception actually. Well, I go orhorh le. It's getting late, noooooooo ): Whenever I sleep late, you'll punish me the. Cannot cannot, I must sleep early! Goodnai boy! ♥

2011-12-21T23:57:00.003+08:00

Today it's crystal's birthday, so we decided to go USS to celebrate. Yea, it's my first time to USS with my sisters in singapore. But boy, do you remember that you said will bring me go, even it's just outside as you're afraid to take all the rides? Sigh.. Forget it. I just tell myself it's just another story whereby imma stupid girl. Boy, just tell me honestly, if you still do want me in your life someday. Or have you decided to let go of me and find your next happiness? I don't know where I stand with you. And I don't know what I mean to you. All I know is every time I think of you, I want to be with you. I keep hoping, and praying that one day you'll realize that what you are looking for is right here in front of you, and has been all along. I hate you, I miss you, I love you.

2011-12-20T23:56:00.005+08:00

Before I met you, I wondered why all the lyrics in love songs were so exaggerated. Why do lyricists create such mushy and over-emotional sentences? Why can't they just write a good melody without those melodramatic lyrics? That is plain exaggeration.

Before I fell in love with you, I thought romance novels were just so silly. Why would a person cry for another person for hours/months/years? How could a person wait for his or her lover for years? That is plain silliness.

Before we became a couple, I thought romance movies were just so stupid. How could a person love another person so deeply that it became an obsession? How could one sacrifice so much, even to the extent of his or her own life, for his or her lover?
That is plain stupidity.

When I realized I had fallen so deeply in love with you, I finally understood that songs, novels and movies are just reflections of life, inspired by the writers' true stories.

But when I decided to end our relationship, I realized our story mirrors a love song that I once heard, a romance novel you once read and a romance movie we once
watched.

I am so sick and tired of my life after I lead my life alone. Who can help me tear away these masks of mine that are lingering in my skin? Why must I always wear different masks wherever I go, putting on the multiple masks of disguise for different people? Playing the role of a happy girl in front of my classmates, a strong daughter in front of my parents and an understanding student in front of my teachers. Putting a strong front in front of everyone.. Your wall said you won't give a damn anymore, I hate you. I hate you to the core! Why did you wanne prove to me that you're gona be the same as other guys!? WHY! Do you still remember what you told me when we're together? I guess you've forgotten, but i shall remind you then: 'Believe anot.. What if i am not others?' Boy, it's exactly th same as what you wrote. Does it reminded you or you dont give a damn anymore..? Haha. How silly and stupid i am to trust every guys words, that make me ended up today. Yes you still love me, I do too. So what if we still love each other? So what. So I only can act like I don't love you anymore.. I bought a book, it tolds me this: No matter how much two lovers love each other, reality will stretch that love. Whether it holds or breaks doesn't just depend on how strong the love is. It depends on how aggressive reality is stretching as well. What has the world become.. Like seriously, when I post that post just to let you see, you became so cruel.. Can you enjoy on the countdown? I know you can because discharged le ma.. Haha. This world is just so cruel I swear. I know I hurt you deeply, by bringing my friend and his friend along, I know it affects you.. So that time I send you a last text of apologising.. I know it doesn't help but, sigh.. 6 more days boy, time flies. Takecare boy.. Find a girl that suits you best ba.. Enjoy.

2011-12-20T04:45:00.002+08:00

Woahs, it's so late now. 4.45am and it's still raining! Boy, did you caught in the rain? It's raining the whole day eh. Ohmygahd. Did you open up your umbrella, must be never right! D: anyway I did my homework for the courses. First 3 choices is all about either tourism or business. Should be can ba? ): 7 more days which is 1 more week, how fast? I'm still wondering how my countdown will be like, sigh.. Will you think of getting back with me again..? We wished too, but I guess you're having problems ba. I just want to know, what happened to us that there's really no solution to be back again and be better? I changed. Boy, I miss you real badly... )': I wish to text you, but I'm scared. I'm really scared.. Zemo ban! I'm wondering what are you thinking nowadays.. Sigh..

2011-12-19T19:16:00.003+08:00

Hows my dooms day? What do you think boy? I've got 20points, shit.. I know I've let many people disappoint in me, maybe including you and your mummy if your know my result.. At least I got distinctions for both chinese. I didn't fail any of my subjects, im still proud of myself for passing my maths! Oh great. 19points was the cut-off point to sec 5, friends asked me to try appealing for sec5 but I don't want. I rather go for a slower route as most of my teachers told me to. It's alrights, i'll work harder so that I can promote to poly! Yes, you did wish me goodluck, but this time round, it didn't cheer me up AT ALL.. You asked me to enjoy on my count down, can you? If you can, I shall say you don't want me anymore. Sigh, I really don't know.. As the countdown will be a new year for us and it'll be our 5th monthsary.. How sweet if we go for countdown together as I didn't get to countdown with any of my loved before, but I shall blame my fate. Im destined to be alone anyway.. Im starting my ITE on the 10th of January, fast? It'll be a new school for me, but I can tell you, I won't give up on you. You're worth the wait baby.. I miss you.. I shall go and see what course can I take and which ITE can I go soon. 8 more days boy..

2011-12-18T03:58:00.005+08:00

Im sorry boy, I guess I know how you feel le.. Im sorry for everything, sigh... I know I can do nothing to make you happy anymore as I've hurt you real deeply already.. Im really sorry boy.. )':

Boy, did you receive my text? Sigh.. I can't really sleep after I send that message. Anyway, it's raining the whole day I guess? It's still raining now, are you going to eat with your family? Don't get caught in the rain ogays, will fall sick easily the! Ohya, I bought the milk lotion already. Do you still have? Don't buy at watson arh, $3 if im not wrong, I buy only $2 eh! Don't get cheated hor :/ Today im gona sleep early as tmr I've got to get my result. Well, im ready to face the worst le. Goodluck to me ogays boy! (: I miss the times when I've got major exams and you'll send me a sweet goodluck message. Even though you're inside, you still did asked your friend to text me what you wanne say. You still remember. How sweet of you boy. This time im gona face a really dooms day of my result, im gona faced it alone.. Let me just hope you'll at least send me a simple 'goodluck' message later on, wonder if you noticed facebook people writing about taking results later on at 2pm. Your message will cheer me up although I fail my Nlevel.. Takecare boy, I miss you badly.. Pray hard together (:

2011-12-17T18:36:00.002+08:00

Hi boy, I just re-read my blog post again. I can't believe what I've done, :/ Today's the saturday, later you'll be eating dinner with your mummy and god-mother ba. Hmm.. I guess you're gona go geylang eat frog porridge again? >< hehe! cause there's your favourite food there too ma. Did you eat your lunch not? Iyooo! Today's weather super windy! The moment I woke up, wind kept blowing that I kept shivering. Til I went to close my windows. Beri cold neh! Now going 7pm le, don't know what time baby will go off. I guess should be 8/9 ba? Cause if 10.30 then can't eat with your family le. Ohya, finally I get to eat something normal! I've been eating junk food instead of rice instead ): a meal a day. Cannot blame me hor! Cause I always late sleep then will wake up in the afternoon. So I had my breakfast, lunch and dinner together around evening timing. I ate sliced fish soup with rice ^^ healthy! I even bought snacks and crackers up so I'll have something to bite on on the midnight :x WOOOPS! Boy, I don't think you'll look at my blog ba? It's been a long time since you came here to read. Well, hope my fb post did give you some hint to come here to read later on as maybe your muummy will bring your ipad along right? 10 more days you'll be discharged le!!! HUUURRAYYY! But 2 more days will be my dooms day, ohneooooo ): Sigh, I miss you baby.. Do you? (:

2011-12-17T03:23:00.002+08:00

I miss everything about us..

Baby, no one can take you away from me.

Give us a chance, its not the end.

Think through once again after you discharge baby.. Is our love really gona crashed just like this? Why not give each other a chance if you smile again? I changed. I learnt. Im scared to lose you again. Im really don't wish to lose you just like this. I know we're gona go against the world one day. Maybe I can't be compared, but I did tried my best. Your the fucking first guy I did so much, sacrificed alot, and even love so much. 4 months, compared to years, yet you gave me a feeling that I can't fight. So deep and true. The next time if we're together again, I swear I'll be better than last time. I miss you boy, takecare.. Im sorry.

2011-12-17T01:40:00.002+08:00

Hi boy. Sigh, my mind had been thinking of you again and again.. Sometimes, I just feel like talk to you face to face. Yes, face to face. But im afraid of you, do you know that? I don't even dare to reply you anymore.. I miss you fucking bad, FUCKING BADLY.. I'm sorry boy, sigh.. I really love you deeply. Not just saying for the time being, it's the truth.. 11 more days you'll be discharged, I bet you'll go pub or something to party with your friends? I really wanne sit with you and talk.. But it's alright, I want you to discharge peacefully and enjoy your days ahead (: Shall not disturb you ba.. I don't know what you're thinking, neither do I know what did you and hongjie talked outside. I don't know. I guess you're asleep at this timing le ba? Goodnights silly, hope you didn't kick off your blanket arh! Did you apply baby lotion to keep your skin refresh? Did you buy mask already? Hostel must be dusty, remember to wash your face daily! I wanted to tell you to throw the used mask away, iyooo. Silly boy keep for what? I can still get it for you if you want arh. Shall tuck in real soon, my face.. ): But I can't sleep, zemo ban! I miss you boy.. Later you're going to eat with your mummy and your god-mother, enjoy! Miss the time going with you're to eat frog porridge. It's my first time eating in my whole life, and it's with you! You still say I don't know how eat, hmphs! First time ma! :$ Aye, i go orhorh le. Wonder if you'll still open up my blog to read not.. Wan an! ♥

2011-12-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

Hi boy, it's 3.20am now. My blog timing sot arh. Sigh, my mind had been thinking of you again and again.. Sometimes, I just feel like talk to you face to face. Yes, face to face. But im afraid of you, do you know that? I don't even dare to reply you anymore.. I miss you fucking bad, FUCKING BADLY.. I'm sorry boy, sigh.. I really love you deeply. Not just saying for the time being, it's the truth.. 11 more days you'll be discharged, I bet you'll go pub or something to party with your friends? I really wanne sit with you and talk.. But it's alright, I want you to discharge peacefully and enjoy your days ahead (: Shall not disturb you ba.. I don't know what you're thinking, neither do I know what did you and hongjie talked outside. I don't know. I guess you're asleep at this timing le ba? Goodnights silly, hope you didn't kick off your blanket arh! Did you apply baby lotion to keep your skin refresh? Did you buy mask already? Hostel must be dusty, remember to wash your face daily! I wanted to tell you to throw the used mask away, iyooo. Silly boy keep for what? I can still get it for you if you want arh. Shall tuck in real soon, my face.. ): But I can't sleep, zemo ban! I miss you boy.. Later you're going to eat with your mummy and your god-mother, enjoy! Miss the time going with you're to eat frog porridge. It's my first time eating in my whole life, and it's with you! You still say I don't know how eat, hmphs! First time ma! :$ Aye, i go orhorh le. Wonder if you'll still open up my blog to read not.. Wan an! ♥

2011-12-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

Boy! Today imma good girl, didn't go out at all. But around evening, suddenly the dizziness came back.. ): Hurhur! I swear today's weather super cold, must remember to take care of yourself ogays? Hug domo to feel more warmth silly. I think if you've got no domo, your pillow become multi user already, your pillow and boster. >< Must remember ogays! Scared you always forget, ): No one to nag you already, cannot forget ogays! Hope you're feeling better (: Sigh, why did you text me.. ): You said you miss me badly, you love me too, but its now different story. I wanne ask what's that different story, but I know you'll get upset. Isit because of yesterday's problem? No I really don't know why all this happen, )': I really don't know.. Tears gradually falls down my cheek. My mind went wild, thinking that the different story is that we'll not be together anymore.. I told myself to be good and think through everything during this journey alone without you, think through and make a change. So maybe one day you contact me, we'll be better than last time and you'll have got a different view of me. Now, I feel like a glass, it falls and glass shatters on the ground already.. Hopeless.. Just why...! Boy, im exhausted. Im really very tired already. I'm tired of thinking how to please people. I'm tired of trying to make people happy around me. I'm tired of faking. I'm tired of feeling empty inside. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of feeling useless. I'm tired of being bitter. I'm tired of feeling lost. I'm tired of feeling stuck. I'm tired of feeling crazy. I'm tired of yelling. I'm tired of dreaming of a life I will never have. I'm tired of wishing I could start over again. I'm tired of remembering. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of needing help. I'm tired of always wondering when god is finally going to let me be happy. Most of all, im tired of being tired. It's alrights, you deserve better. Go. Be free.. Just maybe, one day you'll smile like you used to again, to me.. But remember clearly, I tried my best already.. My very best, to you. May god bless you. ♥

2011-12-16T01:55:00.001+08:00

Hmm, life's pretty fair for me now. I doesn't have heavy problems to handle anymore. Ever since I lost you, I'v not been going out. As in not more than last time anymore. Staying at home would be better than going out being stared and all, which I guess you won't like it. I wanne be your good girl. Everyday, I would prayed hard for god to look up to you because 11 more days you'll be discharged. A blink of an eye, time flies. I remembered the last time I heard from you was 50+ days. Now? Hehe! So yea, today went to meet hongjie at cs. Then off to bugis to get my stuff, cine to meet his friends and finally went to your workplace to eat. I feel really awkward to go to your workplace to eat, I don't even dare to look at you... So I started to take out my diary and write since im your workplace already. I was freaking shocked that hongjie would find you trouble when he knows your my ex! I swear I don't even know what had actually happen, so freaking worried! I quickly called to tell him! 5mins later, your went back up. Me and Tiffany were so fucking worried that something might happen, then surprised that you took a bucket of beer out after your went up. I seriously don't know what happen! So when we paid the bill and went out, hongjie actually told me what had happen. Thanks to him seriously, sigh.. He watched me grow up since sec 1. I hope you won't misunderstand me... I don't have any intention to do anything to you when we went there, until hongjie asked me to pass the diary to you. I actually planned to pass you, but Im also afraid you'll get real stress again.. Sigh.. You can throw it away after reading it actually, nothing special.. (: So boy, don't get so stressed up! I meant no harm alrights. 12 days more, I've actually plan something but it's alrights. I plan when we're still together. But I hope you won't disappoint anyone anymore, especially your family! Be good ogays? Don't find trouble le, go and continue your study (: 4 more days, which is monday, I'll get my results already. I admit I don't have confidence and will go up to ITE instead, im prepared anyway. It's just a longer route for me to study. People might say I'll go bad if I go ITE, what if I can prove everyone wrong? I just want my parents to be proud of me although I go ITE, I'll work hard to go for poly. That's my only wish. You once told me that we'll sure break if I go there, if your trust is with me, you wouldn't think of this. Well! I'll be single now anyway. I don't dare to go in love life anymore. I don't dare. You're the only guy that make me muster the determination of love. I believe in you, I don't care whether you've got anger management, attitude problem or whatsoever. I believe in you. You aren't bad actually. Silly, believe in yourself too (: I know I've been a bad and stubborn girl, but along this journey alone, I learnt alot. That diary I gave you, last I promise. Maybe if we talked again, maybe if you smile again, we'll be happy again. So boy, be good arh! Don't let anyone upset or disappoint in you le! Do something that makes you happy after you discharge, not bad things hor! Actually I've found out places at pasir ris farmway that you can adopt dogs le, maybe not to your liking but see see lor. Don't go clubbing too often too, waste money! And there very easy get into troubles too ): Save money for your future, your license and future bike etc. Drink lesser, later got beer belly very difficult to clear no matter what and it'll look ugly! Aren't you vain? >< So yea. Try to cut down on smoking too, really bad. Remember to eat arh, don't go on diet. Just try to eat even if you don't feel like alrights? If your gastric become small due to on diet, if you eat more than your gastric can consume, you'll always vomit. That's what I know already! Remember to cover blanket, raining season still I guess? If you're out already, wear jacket! Sleep early too arh, acne breakouts easily I swear ): My face really CMI, I wanne cry.. I won't break your promises, i've been a good girl ogays! Christmas is just 10 more days, 12 more days to your discharge and countdown is just 16days! 5th month with you neh.. Sigh.. Bound to countdown myself lor, tsk! I miss you boy, don't be stress reading my diary ogays! Nothing the! Just live on your happy life, gogogo! I've got no intention on giving you that diary, just letting you know. But I don't know what you meant by your post after that ): What did I lie again? ): Sigh..

2011-11-02T01:34:00.000+08:00

Happy 3monthsary baby, I love you! ♥♥♥♥♥

Yesterday I thought baby's gona be angry with me after I say goodbye )': But when I end work at 10+, baby send me a message saying 'You will be silly to think that i'll leave without saying goodbye to my precious baby..' AWWW! ♥ How sweet can baby be! So, I went to find baby at his workplace ^^ Sat inside with baby and showed him videos etc. We were laughing and smiling so happily! ♥ But baby's abit drunk ): Managed to tell baby happy 3months face to face at 12am!! ♥ ERRR, 12.01 lar! >< But baby said earlier than me as his drunk! WWOOOOPS! Send baby back to hostel ^^ The next day in the morning which is today, woke up at 9am! Ohgod, my eyes could hardly open ): But I forced myself cause I wanne fetch baby!!! ♥ Went to dabao food as baby's hungery, then cab to baby house! YAY! We watched batman together while baby eating, hehehe! ♥ Around 1+, baby have to go work le ): Send him to work and homed! Went home to get my stuffs and off to bbq chicken located at t1 to meet ivy and vaneh~! Couldn't finish my lunch, kept pushing it to ivy, hehe! She's our food bin for today! *Applause* After eating, did the frame for baby! It came out different from what I thought it would be but its ogays! I know baby will still love it hur! ♥ Then after that accompany them to check for movie time at century square, there's no timing for them so ivy left while me and vaneh went to pheer house til 10 and I off to meet baby! Sat around for awhile, chit-chat then call cab. Sigh, after 12am, bad things happen again )': I hope tomorrow morning baby and I will be ogays ba, ): I miss u baby! ♥

2011-10-28T00:08:00.001+08:00

Boooooooooooooooooooooooo! ♥

Asked saboon for lunch! Went to bedok point and settle ourself at popeye! Can't finish, ): Heng never order the drumlets! >< Haha! Then after that, we went to walked around the whole bedok inter. It was raining so we did nothing much. The whole day, im always smiling when I received text from baby, ♥ ! I swear it's been so long since Im like this, yea! The feeling you'll never know, as it was how we text each other last time, before we're together and after! ♥ Cab to baby's workplace while saboon went to tampines. Bought beer for baby and waited for him outside his workplace! Baby went to cut hair, hehehehe! No more helmet hair >< HAHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!! Anyway baby looks more handsome now, wooooooops! ♥ Someone's gona be proud hur! Went to the same place again and chatted. I can see that our love is nurturing, its so sweet. ♥ All the tears I cried last time was not wasted! Finally baby knows how I feel hur, >< Hehe. Well, really have to thanks his officer that teach baby, and we did our part to save our love. Ohya! Baby played my fishing game, I guess his gona be addicted to my game. Ohneoooooo! He played that fishing game til his body, head followed the direction the fish swam. I swear baby fucking cute lar!!! ♥ After sending baby to his hostel, I went to east coast park to find my family as it's my parents buttday! But they said they choose jumbo seafood specifically for me, cause got GIANT CRAB! ♥ HIAKHIAKHIAK!!! Eat til shiok sial >< hehe! Tomorrow im gona work in the morning, shall sleep soon! HEHEHE, BYEEEEEEEE! ♥

2011-10-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

25th- 26th! ♥♥♥♥♥

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! On th 25th, some problems occur between me and baby, but we're fine now! So I went to find my dearest boyf after his work as it was his home leave that day and day is his off day! So we get to spend 1 whole day together, awwww! ♥ It's been so long since we spend the time together 1 whole day. Went to baby house and we watch movie, last was 'the child's eye' but both of us were tired, and we slept, continue watching when we wake up in the morning. HEHE! ♥ After that we start to find movies to watch again, but Im not feeling very well, so I hugged baby to sleep while he watch his movie! ♥ After the movie, baby went down to buy lunch for both of us while I stay at his house to watch simpson movie >< Didnt really watch as I went to brush teeth etc and baby's back! Watched together and eat together, sweet bu sweet!? ♥ Basically the whole day was watching movie, look at bikes, and chatchat looooo! Around 6+, we went down to get our dinner as baby got to go back by 8pm, ate and off to my house and baby went back le!

Well, its been a long time since we spend time together, especially 1 whole day. Just 3 more months and baby will be discharged! BUT we're looking forward to 10november instead! Hiak hiak hiak, secret :x HEHEHE! So happy! Anyway, Im sorry baby yesterday, I know u wanted to give me a surprised by fetching me on 25th, but I overslept ): Im sorry, I bet you'll give me more surprise on our following days right! I love u baby, I really love u alot! ♥ Just 5 more days and its our 3rd monthsary le! Time flies hur? MMM..MWARHS! ♥ Lets post our photos we took today, heheh! MY CUTE DIMPLELESS BABY ♥

Wouldn't it be nice if I fell asleep beside you every night and wake up in your arms every morning?

There's some more photos, but I dont wanne show u! Later u fall in love with my boyf >< Hehe! I make him zilian, he looks so cute in th photo nah! >< I LOVE YOU BABY!

2011-10-20T01:26:00.000+08:00

Didnt post for 3 days le, shall do a short post now ba! This 3 days ain't good for me, sigh.. Have been quarreling with baby everyday, really hurts alot.. Sigh.. Today baby ot til 10, never get to meet baby )': Sigh.. Tomorrow baby off day, stay in hostel, worst! Hope he can try to contact me ba, I miss u baby.. I wrote a letter for baby again, should I do something nicer? Hmm, BUT BABY DONT WANT TAKE PHOTO WITH ME! How to do more things for baby, ): I wanne go USS, I wanne take alot alot photo with him! ♥ I've never been to USS before, not even outside. Urghs! Hopefully baby's home leave is next week, wanne go over to his house and stay. It feels so great hugging baby to sleep I swear. ♥ First thing first, I still wanne take loads of picture with baby when we go out ^^ hehehe! Shall sleep soon! Give baby goodnight text first, zaijian! ♥

2011-10-17T00:36:00.000+08:00

Nihon with baby's mum and godmother.

Stayed home th whole day today! Not so whole day, I did brought dana down for a walk with my sister, so freaking hot and tired! When I reach home, I was freaking tired too, feels like sleeping but I wanne text baby ): I miss baby alot alot alot! HURHUR! Went to meet up with baby's mum and godmother then together went up for dinner together. I find that I still have difficulty calling his godmother ): Chialat. Ate 2 plates of age tofu and 1 plate of tori karaage, so full already! Always looking at baby, k i got really jealous I swear.. He laugh and smiled to his colleagues so happily, then me? Sigh.. Especially that princess.. Forget it, since baby think it won't hurt me then forget it, forget it.. Mrt back home alone.. Thats th reason why I doesn't like to go baby's workplace and eat, but he asked me to be zidong, don't wanne quarrel.. Just now I really wanne tell baby more, but im afraid we'll quarrel more so I change subject, urghs! Hate it alot.. Now I just wanne wait for baby's home leave and accompany 1 whole day. Im jealous as his colleagues can see him everyday, but I don't get th chance.. Baby seldom make me laugh and smile like he always do anymore.. All to his colleagues.. Im sorry..

2011-10-16T01:37:00.000+08:00

DID U SEE THIS!? ♥♥♥♥♥

Yes, today's day 6! Finally finally finally! HEHEHEHHEH! ♥ Everyone thought im alrights on th outside, but never did they know I cried for 6days. I've been leading a solitude life within this 6 days and finally today, I don't have to bury gallons of agony that no one ever knows! WHEEEE, I really love my dimpleless alot, hope his words are true. I need actions of course! ♥ I pray hard that he'll never go back to his cold self again, hopefully )': Really hurts me alot and I really cry th whole day, even replying people's text.. Went to fetch baby and ate dinner with his mum at geylang again, FROG PORRIDGE AGAIN! Ohgod~ Didn't really eat much though, bu xi guan eat frog ); Frog leh! Ohmygahd. In th van, baby pulled me close to him and kept on smelling my hair, AWWW! ♥ He loves my hair smell, hehehe! He kissed me! ♥ I miss baby's sticky lips which I don't know why also. Prolly too long never received baby's true kiss le ba? We used to smile, laugh and play whenever baby trying to kiss me! His sexy and glossy lips, *SALIVA DRIPPING!* >< My baby so cute lar! ♥ Now im waiting for baby's home leave, so he'll be able to pei me whole day! TON TON TON, COMFIRM TON, I DONT CARE! ♥ When when when~~~~~ Days pass so slow which I dont know why, but time pass so fast ley! Tomorrow having dinner again with his mum! I miss my baby so badly now ): Wo yao mwarhs mwarhs! ):

2011-10-14T22:23:00.001+08:00

Tear-ed th whole day, even when I reply people's text, fml.. Day 5 of coldness.. Went sbw, mrt squeezy, phone sot, messages of yours totally gone, i went fucking sot and shout at people to move away as they're really squeezing me.. cb. Teared in th cab, gastric fucking pain.. Met baby, baby talked to me but Im tearing.. Im really very sad le, baby thought i dont wish to talk to him, sigh.. Im sorry baby.. After that, didnt talk th whole night til his hostel, not even a single goodbye kiss.. The end.. Fml..

2011-10-14T02:31:00.000+08:00

KK hospital.

Today woke up real late as i've been sick for a few days le, caught a cold.. Had been sneezing th whole day til my nose almost drop on th floor! Urghs.. Baby called and I woke up, I guess his angry with me for not replying ba )': Sigh.. Yesterday was because baby told me his going up to orhorh then I don't know wanne reply not, + I left a few mins to 12.45 so I rushed to wash face etc )': Hurhur! Today was because Im still sleeping! Really sick, then baby havent listen my story and he got angry kup phone le ):! HURHUR! It really affects my mood th whole day, thinking about baby being angry with me, then tmr how? Will he be cold again or he'll be sweet to me again, im so afraid.. Went to meet ttn and sab at eastpoint, then to safra there then to 201 to pass clothes to sab's 1st customer and then to ttn house to dye her hair. After that we went to kk hospital to visit mrchia's daughter til around 9+ and I off to bedok for my family dinner. Mum end work super late, gona be 11pm and we went to 511 eat. Chitchat til 12 then go home! )': Wanted to sleep early but chitchat til so late, hurhur! Urghs.. I want sleep early cause I dont want baby to be angry with me, I know he cares for me! Im sorry baby, ): Please, I pray hard you'll go back to your old self, your sweet words hanging on your mouth, ♥

2011-10-13T01:30:00.001+08:00

Class bbq, look, not even half th class.

Today was raining meowmeow and woofwoof in th morning, I swear im so gan chiong and I quickly text vaneh how how how! I even brought a big umbrella along as I don't have th small umbrella, must buy soon le ): Went to whitesand to buy food with vaneh, nisa and hannah! This time round I swear is cheaper than last time our bbq. Its only $71 without counting th night buying lar. Cabb-ed to pasir ris park and off to our pit, drizzling til around 4+ 5+ I guess? Then we start starting fire, not me but th malay guys. I've been lazing around th shelter, playing badminton with ariel! I've got no mood th whole day, people asking why im so sad etc, don't feel like replying them.. Didnt eat much though, no mood.. Around 8+, they complained no food and drinks left, I volunteered to go buy, asking vaneh nisa ariel ivy along as I feel really uncomfortable sitting there. Bought gun popper to cheer myself up, wanted to get bomb bag but we're afraid that th guys will anyhow throw at we girls, so bought a packet and cupwalker then went back. Sat down th whole day texting baby, sigh.. People didn't even know im tearing, haha.. Pro rights? :x I swear I miss baby real badly arh.. Nobody knows th pain im feeling..

Just now when baby's mum called me and say baby's hostel finding him, I was really scared that when baby go back, something bad will happen.. Im really afraid.. Around 12+, baby called me, he reached hostel le! Heng nothing happen to him, I really pray-ed to my god like seriously! How silly can I be sia, really very scared. Baby apologised to me on th phone! I told him before, I never blame him before. I know its because of me, baby then will stress th. Im really sorry )': Will speak to baby when we really have th time ba, I pray hard everything will be fine by friday! ♥ Tomorrow baby will be staying in hostel for th whole day, but I'll still hold on to my phone in case baby calls me! HEEHEHE! ♥♥♥♥♥ Pray hard baby will become his old self that I know him and not th now him, so scary can! )': Hurhur! Where's my sweet dimplesless oink oink I first know! FASTER COME BACK BY FRIDAY AND NOT GO BACK TO HIS NEW HIM! Grrrrrrrrr!

2011-10-10T23:22:00.000+08:00

Buddhist vs christian- me vs baby. ♥

Finally, baby's kina alrights with me le I guess? Went to baby house at around 6+ as his manager help him today only. Thats why he can go home. Fierce wrestling with baby til I cry )': Seriously damn painful i swear, im weak ma! Prolly im not ready yet, so I got defeated by my baby >< BUT, i dont know to say my aiming good or what, kick til baby's ..., hehehe! THEN BABY CAME RUSHING TO ME AND BOOT ME! Dead x.x But I still have fun playing with baby, didnt know baby would be so violent now )': Pain like fuck! HMPHS! When baby saw me tearing, he quickly apologise, hug and kiss my forehead, BUT HE STILL HIT ME! HURHURHUR!!! But I love baby! ♥ Cab to baby's hostel and went home after that! I miss baby alot, sighh.. ): Oink oink! I miss u! Mm..mwarhs! ♥ TOU HEN TONG ARH ):

Singaporean vs malaysian- father vs mother. ♥

Went to eat dinner with parents at kopitiam. While eating, suddenly something came into my mind and I asked my father: 'Pa, someone die at bedok reservoir again?' He told me yea, ytd came out in newspaper, today found th body. I say: 'Huh, then our water that we drink come from there one leh how!?' Forget what he say le, this time, mother chup in say: 'Huh then th water that we drink how?!' Father shoot back say something then say 'eh malaysia river also very dirty one hor, kill pig cow balbalbla then throw into river, dirtier than singapore lor. TIO OWN! Mother face jitao black and kept quiet, HAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear my father freaking cute lar, hehehehhe!!! ♥ Went to ntuc buy things then home sweet home!

2011-10-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

It has been 2 days already, we're still so cold.. I know baby's still angry with me, no matter was it because of me going to bugis and how I wear or what, Im just so sorry baby.. Sigh, do u know it hurts? Today I went to find u and your mum for dinner, it hurts to see u asking your mum to ask me what I wanne drink instead of u, though we are sitting side by side.. It really hurts, when u went to th toilet, my tears wanne drip already, but I tried so hard to control, as though im strong.. Until we're leaving geylang to catch a cab, u took my hand to hook onto your arm, I feel better and secured by your side as it is geylang lar..! When u on that mv of 'sexy and i know it', u purposely look at me by th side of your eyes! >< Ever since I intro baby this song, u start to look at th video almost everyday! GRRRR. Horny hur? :x hehe! Then when me and your mum send u back in to hostel, u kissed my lips with your sticky lips and went in, and even look at me to wave hands to me. I really love it alot! Do u know how afraid can I be between this 2 days? Suddenly baby so cold towards me, I though you've lose feelings for me alr.. I know im annoying for keep asking u etc, im just so afraid baby )': Sigh... Im sorry baby, forgive me will u? )':

2011-10-08T22:13:00.000+08:00

Life isn't cruel, life is just real and reality hurts.

Went bugis with sabooooooooooooooooon! ♥ Its been a long time since I went there. Nothing much change actually, just that th clothes are mostly from blogshops lo. But before going bugis, we went to eat steamboat at kallang, I swear I wont eat steamboat anymore.. UNTIL NOW MY TUMMY STILL SO BLOATED LAR? THANKS. Cannot take th pain ): Around 6+, send saboon to bedok and off to fetch baby. Went to koufu to find his mum and his godmother, then baby came along. It was super early still so we went to somewhere near baby's hostel and chat. I chat with his mum and baby chat with his godmother. Baby's mum isn't that bad though, but I wonder why baby like find her err.. dont know how say :/ How I wish she was my mum lar? LOL, joke joke! >< She nags at baby but she cares alot for him, I can see from her eyes when she told me how worried she was for baby. Baby went back early today ): So his mum asked me if dropping me at mrt there is alrights, yea. Instead, his godmother send me back home! Chatted along th way til I reach home, how sweet can they be! ♥ Must really thank them alot, baby's mum also thank me for accompanying him everyday, but I think baby will feel I very irritating ley? :/ Hehe. BUT, seriously, baby like never read my message like that.. I told him to stop telling me about her, yet today that girl text him again.. If he don't care, why must he reply, just why lar. FUCK LAR SERIOUSLY! FML.

2011-10-07T23:58:00.001+08:00

Holiday is th sex yo! ♥

I guess im bound to go ITE ba... I screwed almost every paper, seriously.. Mdm zakiah told me young children prolly will come out, in th end!? TEENAGER ARH. Nice one k. Sigh.. After my paper, suddenly drizzle! Then when I went in th cab, rain so damn heavily! When I reach home downstairs, rain stop. Whats wrong with th weather? Laughs. Around 6+, went to fetch baby! Heng stop raining looooooooooo! But still drizzles abit ): Bought beer, went same place again! Baby told me that he won't get breach anymore!!!! HURRAAYYYY! HEHEHEHEH! ♥ BUT.. his gona confine til he discharge, which is 2months+ more, its ogays! Time pass very quickly th! Rather than discharge right!!! I love u baby, we must thank god! ♥ I'll wait for baby to discharge, very fast th! Then we'll spend more time together, just hope baby won't get bored of me ): Sigh... I miss u baby, when im with my sisters, I kept talking about u, afraid you'll get breach, afraid you'll lose feelings for me further down.. I overthink... U think I had fun when im with my sisters, but u don't know how much im thinking and talking about u.. Just now when u told me your ex girlf text u, I really had nothing to say.. Seriously, she kept pestering u, what if 1 day u get really irritated by me and u go back to her instead? Look how much I overthink when u tell me about her texting u... What should I do baby, what should I do? )': Not that I suffer when im with u, step into my shoes and think, u know im weak. I can't stand all this girls stuff, who can? Baby, im so sorry.. I really love u that I don't wanne lose u, im afraid.. Sorry ):

2011-10-06T22:59:00.001+08:00

I just want to hug u so much right now.. ♥

Huisi and sab went over my house after todays paper, finally saboon got over her fear of my dog, ^^ hehe! Bad thing of them coming over is.. THEY TORTURED MY HAMMIES! ): I think they cast a spell on me, everytime when they come, I'll feel damn sleepy ): Huisi left around 2.30, then I went to bathe after awhile and off to t1 to have our lunch-stingray! ♥ I swear I don't wanne eat stingray already nah! Sab and me keep complaining tummy pain after eating ): Walked around t1 to have our food in tummy digested. Suddenly it rain so damn heavily, pei sab go bedok then she pei me wait bus ^^ WENT TO FETCH BABY! HEHEHHE! ♥ I seriously don't like raining, wondering why people keep saying that its a very nice weather to sleep. Th feeling's so different from aircon lar? God. And what I hate most is water splashing onto my leg while walking! ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE'S SAND. Feeling sucks. Drag my feet to baby's workplace, no sand no water ^^ hehe! Th place we always go is wet, so we learnt th bangala to sit at a corner, so damn yp we know, but bobian rights! Heng its kallang~~~ Asked baby about th oinkoink I gave him yesterday, he told me when his officer is talking, he took out to play, I don't know how to say but I DIDNT KNOW BABY HAS SUCH STUPID AND SILLY TALENT HUR, LAUGHS! ♥ Hidden talent he has :/ Baby's seriously making me falling head over heels with him lar!!!!! So cute, hehehehe! I love him lar, OINK OINK!!! ♥♥ Called for cab, all number user busy/disconnected whatever shit lar, can see everyone's calling for cab lar. We dulan til take mrt sua. Send baby back to hostel. Cab during raining days should be many what, why today can't flag a fucking single cab!? Hai dao baby late, sigh... Sorry baby, not because of me, baby will reach hostel on time le ba ): Sowwie ):

2011-10-06T22:59:00.000+08:00

I just want to hug u so much right now..

Huisi and sab went over my house after todays paper, finally saboon got over her fear of my dog, ^^ hehe! Bad thing of them coming over is.. THEY TORTURED MY HAMMIES! ): I think they cast a spell on me, everytime when they come, I'll feel damn sleepy ): Huisi left around 2.30, then I went to bathe after awhile and off to t1 to have our lunch-stingray! I swear I don't wanne eat stingray already nah! Sab and me keep complaining tummy pain after eating ): Walked around t1 to have our food in tummy digested. Suddenly it rain so damn heavily, pei sab go bedok then she pei me wait bus ^^ WENT TO FETCH BABY! HEHEHHE! I seriously don't like raining, wondering why people keep saying that its a very nice weather to sleep. Th feeling's so different from aircon lar? God. And what I hate most is water splashing onto my leg while walking! ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE'S SAND. Feeling sucks. Drag my feet to baby's workplace, no sand no water ^^ hehe! Th place we always go is wet, so we learnt th bangala to sit at a corner, so damn yp we know, but bobian rights! Heng its kallang~~~ Asked baby about th oinkoink I gave him yesterday, he told me when his officer is talking, he took out to play, I don't know how to say but I DIDNT KNOW BABY HAS SUCH TALENT HUR, LAUGHS! Hidden talent he has :/ Baby's seriously making me falling head over heels with him lar!!!!! So cute, hehehehe! I love him lar, OINK OINK!!! Called for cab, all number user busy/disconnected whatever shit lar, can see everyone's calling for cab lar. We dulan til take mrt sua. Send baby back to hostel. Cab during raining days should be many what, why today can't flag a fucking single cab!? Hai dao baby late, sigh... Sorry baby, not because of me, baby will reach hostel on time le ba ): Sowwie ):

2011-10-05T23:14:00.000+08:00

Surprised for ttn! ♥

Went to find ttn to mumum first, then off to her house! ^^ Say study become watch magic show, play itouch, take photo, laughs! So this time, she said she gona bathe. I quickly call sisi to ask where are they and they quickly ran up to ttn house and hid in her room before she comes out! I find ways to make her in her room but failed! So sab all came out instead and sang birthday song, ttn got so surprised! YAY! HEHE! Rob her house maggie and jelly, then wait for her mum to come back so we can cut cake! Took photos and start to talk about what to ask ttn buy in hongkong, hehehehe!!! ♥ Everyone was so excited, then ttn mum came in to talk about our stuffs too. But Im not inside as they're talking about camera and birkenstocks ): Dragged time but I said I wanne leave already, really late and im late to meet my boyf ): Never buy beer and sweet for baby, i must be very useless ba? )': Sowwie! Sigh.. Not that I don't wanne buy, its just that im afraid when he talks to his officer, they can smell til th beer and I don't know what will happen, which I don't want anything bad happen to baby le!!! His going in for remand, don't know when start, don't know how long, don't know don't know don't know, )': Sigh.. I only know I won't find, talk to other guys, I'll only wait for baby.. I got nothing to say or do if he insisted that I will.. Sigh.. Anyway, I passed baby an oink oink toy so when he stress can press that as th eyes will pop out, so cute! ^^ Hehe! I scared 1 day baby become so childish like I do eh, hehe :/ I love you baby! MM..MWARHS! ♥

Hmm.. I went to check it out on hun's blog. I didn't notice that she still writes about me! Yea, I know times we spend have gone lesser as we both are preparing for our major exams, especially hun! She've been stressing alot, family, friends and studies I guess? Texting has gone lesser too, ): But our relationship won't go down, she'll be my forever hun, best of th best! Whenever I need listening ear or ranting, she's th first to hear. Not much now as I've got my sisters too, have been telling them more about my boyf but they keep scold me and get irritated by me! ): So kolian rights! HEHE. Shall text hun tmr morning! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2011-10-05T12:09:00.000+08:00

Lovely moment. ♥

Went to fetch baby, I don't know whats th reason of baby being so hyper when he came out lar? Lol. Th reason not me can le -.- WHATEVA! Then same thing lor! I love baby whispering 'Baby, I love you' in ear, and he said this: 'Everyday I must whisper baby I love you in my ear, AWWW! ♥ He can be hot tempered but when he comes to me, so sweet sweet eh, HEHE! ♥ Suddenly this word came into my mind, OINK OINK. Then me and baby starts oink here and there as we both born in th year of pig what! So I tell him, next time tell your friend which borns in th year of dog must bark like a dog, be greatful of what god gave u. HAHAHAHHAH! Lalala, whateva! ~ K lar, send baby back le, passed him a meowmeow letter, hehe! ♥ Whenever I write letter, friends will ask: 'eh u everytime write letter to him buey sian uh?' etc. I told them, u don't know only. So sweet lor write letter to boyf ^^ Hehe! All my heartfelt words, he've heard alot, but I needa prove, give me time! I LOVE YOU BABY!!! ♥ MMM..MWARHS-MWARHS! OINK OINK. ♥

2011-10-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

Never fail to. ♥

Today's paper were science and history, kinda manageable for my science but what about my history? Hmm.. FORGET IT, ITS OVERR~~~ Burnt combined science and humanities loooooooooooooooooooooo! :D Tmr will be my maths paper, die. So today baby's finally out! ♥ HEHEHE! Can u imagine how badly I missed him? Its just freaking 2days and yet I say til like 2year never see til baby like that, kua zhang eh! But seriously, no one knows how we feel. Right baby! Went to fetch baby after work, when I see him, I just hug him lar, aawww! Ji sweet yi xia! ♥ Went to th same place, and yea~ Baby's singing getting nicer! WHEE--U--WHEEEET! ♥ HEHEH, I don't know why but I just love baby so damn much lar! Seriously how to prove to baby that I really love him!? ♥ Ohyea, baby said he love th wallet I gave him, and he LOVE th smell of th leather, everyone starts calling him shen jing bing. In hostel, baby applied th baby milk lotion of his nose there and th person beside him say 'u siao arh? put at nose there for what?' Baby replied that whenever he smell th lotion, he'll think of me! Cause last time whenever baby apply too much, he'll purposely 'eh baby, u need some too' and apply on my hand. CUTE ISN'T IT!?!!? ♥ Then his workplace, he kept on smelling th wallet, people said 'u how long never sneeze drug liao?' LOL!!! He said he love th smell of th leather, so nice'. Wth!? My dearest boyfee so kolian, kana call shen jing bing! Kns ); Boot and jab them arh! Hmphs! When we reach boonkeng, baby went to buy sweet, I was like 'ohshit! He's gona kiss me', *RUN!* Because everytime when baby eat sweet, his lips will be like super sticky which I don't know why lar! Never seen my mouth being so sticky after eating sweet. Thanks arh baby! That time 1 pimple not enough, today luckily Im able to run! ^^ HIAK HIAK HIAK! Send baby back to hostel and home~ Did I tell u this? Baby's so damn sweet today. ♥ He woke up early just to ask his friend to text me a goodluck message early in th morning. Usually baby would sleep til late late, won't care anyone th. But th message brought a smile to my face! It brightens my mood too, hehe! Thanks baby! ♥ Mm..mwarhs! And and and, baby asked me if tmr I've got exam not, as he wants to take off and pei me, HOW SWEET CAN MY BABY BE!!!!?? ♥♥♥♥♥ Seriously, his sudden change impressed me alot. ♥ BUT BABY STILL DOUBTING MY FEELINGS FOR HIM!!! )': HOW!?

NOW WHAT!? I SWEAR I STILL MISS BABY SO DAMN BADLY LAR, URGHS!! Today he's feeling so nua as he played soccer for th whole day on weekends, siao one he :x Then work, stand whole day, comfirm tired ma ): Hurhur! I guess baby's asleep now, cause he ask me don't teach my father how to fuck when I ask him to sleep when he reach hostel!! LAUGHS!!! I teach my boyf how to masterbed, not my father hor! >< Uhoh, baby will scold me after he read this one day.. :x

I miss hun alot, our shopping days and icecream day! ♥ She hasn't been using comp for many days I guess? But she've been wishing me luck and all, I love her lar! ♥ Hehe! I remember promising her to bring her go ecp to eat nice food, must keep my promise! ^^ hehe! I guess its less than 20 days to their olevel, pray hard hun is doing well in her revision now, pray hard! She wants to get 1 digit points to go into SINGAPORE POLY! Ohmygahd, it may be hard but once she has th goal, she'll aim for it! Right hun!?♥ I know u can do it! And to show that asshole that u can do much better than him! MM..MWARHS! ♥

2011-10-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

Its not th same without u around..

Have been studying intensively on sat and today with my lovely girls: Sabrina, ttn and crystal. But unfortunately, never really focus as im having a bad headache and it turns out to be fever! )': Today is slightly better but my nose is dying soon.. Or isit I miss baby too much? Tomorrow's monday like a finally! But its also a dooms day for me. With my situation, how to concentrate? I suddenly got this feeling that I'll screw my Nlevel, not because of boyf, but im seriously sick.. Pray hard I'll get better by tmr ba! I guess baby will be out tmr too, ^^ With his goodluck wishing for my history, maybe still can eh? :/ Hehe! Hmm, baby say he likes that wallet I gave him, but I've got a feeling that its like mian qiang that like, >< Cause he always wanted that fred perry one! ): Bobian, im his girlf, he needs to love everything I bought for him, hiak hiak hiak hiak! >< I can't sleep eh, what happen! I don't want tmr keep yawn til cry, like today.. Im gona try sleeping now, before tmr really dooms day for me! Byeeeeeeeee~

2011-09-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

Happy 2 monthsary baby poh!!!!

This is what baby gave me ^^ Guess whats in this bag..

Whats in this box!

Tadannnnnnnnnnnggggg! Its a necklace pendant, u may think its just so normal, but its so nice and special! Its a butterfly, baby said its cute!

ARH BI ARH, i went home, I quickly wore this, mm..mwarhs!

HAPPY 2 MONTHSARY BABY! ♥♥♥♥♥Today's th saturday, I had plans but today baby can't come out )': I really miss him so freaking bad.. Hmm let me guess.. Baby should have opened up th gift I gave him ba? ^^ Hope he really loves it, I can feel he really miss me too. Baby )': I tend to cry so badly when I miss u badly too.. Sigh.. I'll be waiting for baby to come out on monday, to listen how he feels etc. I'll wait for baby, I will. ♥ Yesterday baby bought me a necklace pendant, it cost 3 digits! Its cheap arh. Wanted th anklet as it may looks cute on my leggy! ^^ BUT, it cost $700+.. I can't ask baby to buy it for me as we're only 2monthsary! He cant spend so much money on me, I'll feel guilty ): Message to baby:

ARH BI ARH! Im wondering how u feel, what your doing right now! Its saturday, our 2monthsary! I know you'll say happy 2 month to our picture, thats what u do in your hostel right baby! After listening to what u say that day, I've changed my thinking. Look at those photos, sweet bu sweet uh? HEHE ♥ I still remember the first day I met u. Actually u didn't really leave a good first impression to me but your sudden change impressed me! I guess fate has its way on doing stuffs hur? I'm pretty sure the both of us are very much in love now right! Everybody knows how to fall in love but only few know how to stay in love with one person for a very long period of time and I'll prove to u that im under 'a few'. Do u know u make me happier than I ever thought I would be and also more scared than I ever thought I would be? Because im scared to lose u.. Just tell me this will last forever which forever never ends? Everyone knows how to say forever, but I hope your forever really never ends. U can think how long will I love u like how I do now, I'll show u. U also can ask around how I treat a relationship. This relationship is a challenge to me. I've never go together with a guy that is in army or hostel before, your th first. I could feel how other girls feel too, but if your gona listen to your brothers that their girls left them because of their situation, I tell u, I'll prove them wrong. I'll wait, I'll love u til death tear us apart, unless u don't want me anymore.. Hmm, Im still wondering what baby doing now.. Looking at th gift? Missing me? Did he eat bao bao not? Did he apply th lotion and powder at night? We've got to endure for 1 more day baby! Monday you'll be out!! I pray hard nothing will happen to baby, I really don't wish anything bad will happen to u anymore, enough ): Please don't get on form anymore, please baby )': I love u baby. I'll study intensively today and tomorrow, I bet time will pass faster for me. For baby, u can chat with your friends etc to let time pass faster! MM..MWARHS! Im gonna start studying le baby, zaijian! Will update baby through phone!

How silly can my baby be!? Ohmygahd! Received a text, about baby. Baby always blamed himself for treating me bad, but it's always me thats in th wrong, yet he took up th blame instead. Im sorry baby )': Sigh.. Its always me who make baby angry, upset, disappointed.. My childish acts, irritating and annoying temper have never change, zemo ban! ): Anyone can teach me? I really want to be th best girlf baby ever had, but it seems that I can't be.. Everytime when we quarrel, baby would say 'woahs your th first girl... balbalblalbablabla', which means im th first girl being so whateva~~~~ I cry because I felt helpless by baby words.. Not that I want to act pathetic, but really helpless by his words.. )': Sigh.. Baby, I really do miss u. I know your missing me too, but now your resting! Hehe! You've seen my gift eh, wonder u like it anot! He didn't mention in his text ): Hurhur! Must be don't like ba? ): UHOHHH! Just 1 more day baby, endure! Then can come out le! ^^ I miss you, th feeling u gave me, your smile, your laughter and time keeps passing by, but my love for u will never die. Mm..mwarh baby! As long as we're together nothing and no one is going to stop us! Hehe! Soon im gona orhorh looooo! Join in your CLUB LALALAND! Zaijian luuuu!

2011-09-29T23:36:00.000+08:00

I thought this picture look like ghost BUT...

Baby told me this is nice eh!? I was like, why sial! I know its too bright but Im trying out camera apps! K today was real bored.. Til 12pm, received a really unexpected message... Have been silently tearing in class, people asking me why I've got tears in my eyes and I answered them, 'Im super tired, yawn til cry', 'Contact lens are dry'... No one knows its my real tears, my heart aches alot.. People are trying to assume that your gona leave me becaue u don't love me anymore etc, but they don't know th truth behind our story. I know baby doesn't want me to suffer so u made that decision earlier.. People once said, don't do something permanently because of your temporary feeling, sigh.. Went tm walk around with ttn, then home to bathe. Off to bedok point and wait for saboon and off to simei to meet ttn! Ate at 18chef and i mrt-ed to fetch baby. Sigh.. We sat at th same place again, heart to heart talk.. But I could hardly open my mouth because i know if I open my mouth to talk, my tears would start dripping and I won't talk anymore.. But today I know so many things from baby, so many things left unsaid some more! D: Sigh, im sorry baby )': Both of us cried..

2 more days and it'll be our 2monthsary but baby's have to confine this week, begging his officer no use.. So I can't contact baby for 2days!? SIGHH... Im willing to wait of course, and I'll prove baby wrong, really wrong. He's afraid I'll run away with other guy, I'll prove him real wrong.. But I know baby's trying his very best! Actually, I don't need any expensive present from u, I just need u to be by my side, that's th best I ever had! Shall wear something nice tomorrow ^^ Hmm, baby likes those office wear, what should I wear? LOL. ♥ Well, tmr I'll try to mix and match, AND I'VE GOT TO FINISH DOING TH GIFT BY TMR AFTERNOON! Its abit rushing I know ): By 1day, everything will be done perfectly. Hope baby will be touched and surprised tmr ^^ Hehe! ♥

2011-09-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

Love requires an ounce of trust and understanding with loads of commitment and faith. ♥

Yesterday went home then to ttn house to revise. Around 5+, we went to eastpoint there then sab and crystal went home while me and ttn went to eastpoing to walk around. Around 7+, mrt-ed to find baby! Same thing again, sit down as baby wanne drink and sang song for me. I love it when baby sing song for me, so sweeeeeeeeeeet! AWWW! I love him lar! ♥ After that send baby to hostel and cab-ed home.

Today school was normal. After school, went inter with crystal and ttn. Eat and buy koi, then off to my house! My dog doesn't like crystal, bit her toe :/ LOL! But its because my dog feels that crystal doesn't want to make friend with my dog so she gets angry :x BLABLABLA til 5, they went home. Crystal everything also scared! Dog also scared! Hamster worm food also scared! Hamster also scared! LAUGHS! Joke sial >♥ Unexpected thing happens that leads baby moodless ): Was so afraid that I'll say wrong thing at th wrong time, so I kept quiet instead ): Sorry baby ): Looking at baby's moodless face makes me feel lousy too, can't do anything to help baby or calm baby, sigh.. Sat at th same place, dazed for awhile, and suddenly baby took out 1 can of beer from his bag, drank finish, then he took out another one! Shocked! After that, we mrt-ed til boonkeng. Baby suddenly took out another can! WTH! He told me his bag is that doraemon's pocket, laughs! How cute can he be?! ♥

Although baby feels moodless, I could see his trying his best to entertain me. ♥ I really wanne care for him but I really afraid that I'll say wrong things ): Sigh.. Im sorry baby, I hope you'll feel better, although I don't know whose that and what happen, but remember that I'll be here for u baby. 3 more days and it'll be our 2monthsary baby! ♥ HEHEHHE, time please pass faster! But, im still worried about baby's problem inside.. Sigh ): Baby, i miss u..♥

2011-09-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

Never thought I would need u this much.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Yesterday my mood really damn fucked up, after I alight from baby's godmother van, I waited for cab. No cab for 1omins! Angry. Walked back to mrt. Reached, mrt left, needa wait for 7mins -.- Reached inter, bus 293 left, grrrrr! Reached home at 12am.. Suey sial~ Today's weather kinda cold due to th rain during midnight, urghs! I even asked baby if he'd catch a cold etc ): Lucky he asks his friend to off th fan or not his flu gona be worst lar. Baby's still sick, nothing could heal him, how! It's really painful to see your loved ones sick.. Pray hard baby will recover VERY SOOOON! ): Today school was normal except for chemistry. Fucking hate ms ho ttm lar -.- Everyday pms one sia she. Talk nia then she say I irritating ask me want get out of class anot -.- Other people talk, ask them sit infront nia, chicken -.- Freaking unreasonable lar she, fat teacher always pms one, zzzz.. Whateva, she spoiled my mood. After school, went home and blablabla, off to study with same people at bedok. Til 6+ and im off to fetch baby! Somehow quarrel abit? Sigh.. cause i forgotten to help baby buy his beer, im sorry baby ); I know your angry with me at that point of time, I know.. But alrights after we met each other! Baby bought his beer and went out to sit down and drink. Baby kept singing song for me, showed me his 'MV', HAHAHAHHA! Seriously, why my baby shoooooooooooooooooooo CUTEEEEEEEE!!!! I love him alot like ohmygahd lar! ♥ Sing and drank til around 9+ and mrt-ed to baby's hostel. He bought another can of beer, god.. And his alittle drunk lar! He even vomited abit, scare me! )': HURHUR!!!! I wonder how baby's feeling right now, is he alrights? He must be sleeping now! Pray hard nothing will happen to baby as his late for 1hour and his still sick ): Sighh... Im worried for my dearest boyf, I miss my dearest boyf. ♥

Sighh.. I still doesn't like baby to work there, whenever he tell me about those girls there, I feel damn fucked up -.- zzzz... I know trust is important but how will he feel if he steps into my shoe and look. It's th feeling that's hurting me, ): Im sorry but I couldn't control my feeling...

5 MORE DAYS TO OUR 2MONTHSARY!!!!!!!! ♥ Hmm, this time, baby's gona get something for me? :/ AWWW! Let's count down ba! Mmm..mwarhs, I love u silly baby! Your mine ogays! ♥

2011-09-25T12:40:00.000+08:00

Waking up in the morning with a text from the person you love. ♥

Yesterday when I went home, I stayed home th whole day ): Didn't manage to fetch baby, sigh.. BUT, baby called me to chat! ♥ Hehe! Its been sucha long time since we chat on phone. From his voice, I could sense that baby's tired le, but Im so selfish that I didn't tell baby to sleep early ): So we chatted awhile more til he said his wanne sleep but don't want to sleep. Laughs! Asked him to sleep early as he has work tomorrow ): Around 11+, baby bth already and he went to his lalaland first while he ordered me to sleep by 11.30pm! Yes and I listened to baby and be on bed and gave him goodnight message by 11.30. I love to chat with baby on th phone, I'll never get bored with his voice, I also don't know why >< His voice so cute lar! ♥ AWWW! I love u baby!

Woke up at 9+ today, it's just a few minutes after baby woke up, our hearts like linked eh? EVerytime baby wake up, I'll wake up just a few mintes behind. Hehe! Waking up in th morning with a text from baby, ♥ And its th first time he called me dearest baby :x Uhohhhhh! Well, to u, it may be short, but to me, it brightens my morning mood! Further down th day, I know you'll still text me sweet sweet text and it'll brightens my whole day, wearing a wide smile on my face! :D HEHE! Baby's working already, and im having this very bad headache again due to th hot weather, always like that! Bu xi huan )': and it's a VERY BAD one I swear. Shall on aircon now and play my itouch while waiting for my baby's text text! ^^ HEHE! Will be fetching baby back to hostel later, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ♥

My dog so has no choice but to face 2 side to take pic with us ^^

Brought dana down to bubble tea shop, she wants to order too! *Woof woof*

Say HI to ninja baby! ♥ K, I know its stupid lar, but he has reason one! This is how they dress and fight in hostel to not let th officers recognised them, lol~~~~~ WHATEVAAAA! Revised my work til time to fetch baby, reached 10mins earlier so I waited outside. Looking at people work makes me feel like working! Grrr... I need to move around and not stone at home! ): Sigh.. Say til work, I really dislike baby's workplace and I don't know why, th feeling just gave me a very bad one... Mrt-ed back to baby house, drank soup with rice together with baby then his godmother send him to his hostel and me to mrt. Suddenly I just miss baby's voice so badly! He sang 'angels cry' into my ear in his house that I even giggled! Poor me now missing baby's voice ): Nlevel is continuing in 1weeks time, and I've got to study real hard le! Cause its all my weakest subjects -.- Im going sleep now, damn tired today and I also don't know why, byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2011-09-24T18:10:00.000+08:00

I love you. ♥

Yesterday, after school, went home to prepare and off to study with crystal, sab and ttn at manpuku. Revised til 5.30, we went to tmall as ttn wanne buy present for her mum. After that, we went to m1 and singtel store to take a look awhile. Sab and crystal left, so ttn followed me back home to put my things and change. I totally forgotten ttn was with me and I opened th door damn big, dana suddenly ran out and scare th freak hell of ttn, >< HAHAHAH! After doing my things, we went to t1 as her mum wants to eat donut. We went to mrt station to take her bag from huisi then off to buy donut for her mum, but th flavor that she wanted don't have already. Ttn went home while I go fetch baby! ^^ HEHE! When I stepped into kallang leisure park, it never failed to have that nihon mura strong smell. So yea, baby didn't break his promise and brought me to nihon mura to eat! ♥ Th food was really very little, compared to The cathay's nihon mura. Chawamushi taste weird too ): Baby kept on saying 'But im still th customer now, not serving food', god~ LAUGHS! :/ And I really hate that place cause got so many girls lar!? ZZZZ -.- After eating, we went to take a look at Johnny English movie's timing, start already ): So we walked around and landed ourself at cold storage, bought things and cab-ed back. Traffic was rather squeezy and jam due to th F1 race. Baby wanted me to pei him and stay over, and I did! He never failed to make me smile and enjoy ourselves together. HEHEHE! I love him lar! MM..MWARHS! ♥ But during that 3days, I really miss baby alot so yea, its a must to stay over and pei him longer as he has work ): But what I hate was, always failed to take picture with my dearest boyf, sigh.. Its been 1month+ since we're together and we've got less than 20!!!! Trying my best th next time, ): OGAYS BABY!? Now he's working and he'll be out with his brother to drink, urghs! Bu xi huan but what can I do? ): I really cherished th seconds and moments whenever Im with baby, I did! AWWW~ ♥ Whenever baby went to work, I was thinking that I also wanne work as I don't want to nua at home do nothing! But what work can I find? Hmm.. Lets see.. Lastly, I love you baby! Don't sell me to bangaladesh ogays! ♥

2011-09-22T22:53:00.000+08:00

No photo for today.

Today school machiam no school like that, whole day free period except for maths, but counted as free period for me arh! During pe lesson, which is in th class, SUDDENLY MY PHONE VIBRATES! Know who? ITS MY DEAREST BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥ Suddenly mood went high and everyone was like, giving that 'what happen' face, haha! ^^ Ohmygahd, I quickly called baby of course!!!! Damn happy lar! ♥ All th way til school ends, study with saboon at manpuku, walked around, my mood was really damn high! HEHEHHEHEH! ♥ When baby told me he works at manpuku, I was like, LAUGHS! >< but not biad lar, pay was high there! Went home, bathe and wrote a letter for baby! I thought I could finish by 10mins but that stupid sticker giving me problem! Keep stuck or whatever lar, zzz.. Rushed and went to fetch baby! HHEHHEHEHE! ♥ Went to baby house, and cab-ed to baby's hostel. When we stepped into th cab, I told baby 'baby arh, very cold ):' . Then he requested to th taxi driver say 'Er uncle arh, can turn up th temperature higher, not i cold arh, my girlf very cold, she's sick'. AWWWW!!!! ♥ FUCKING SWEET RIGHT MY DEAREST BOYF!? ♥ During th journey, I hold baby's hand tightly, baby looked at our hand fitting each other's hand so perfectly and wanted me to take picture, but it was really dark ): Im very sorry baby, I also wish to take photo!!! ♥ Sigh.. I purposely chose th song 'when im with you' for you to listen as it really express what I really wish to say in my heart, I really miss you. I cried silently on your chest.. Do u know how much I really miss u? )': Baby told me if tomorrow home leave, he'll bring me for dinner! WHEEEEE! ♥ Th letter you've brought into your hostel, I hope you'll take a look before u sleep. I know what I've done for u may be alittle childish or too cute alr, but its from my heart! Hope baby will cherished it! ♥ Cried after baby left, sigh... I really miss baby badly, and now my clothes has your strong perfume smell! ♥!

2011-09-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

I know it's weird cause my fringe is short, yet I clipped up my fringe. But baby love me clipping up my fringe, bobian ^^

Today was another normal day for me.. Haze was rather heavy too, and it even drizzles every while and then. Went to school, slept through th day as Im having this bad headache which I don't know why again ): Maybe because I had nightmare when I slept? I really miss baby til I had nightmare )': Ended school at 12.35 and we sisters went to th canteen to view on th career fair. There were 6polytechnics and 1ITE, so I took most of th brochures and take a look. There's too many courses that I wanne take up, how I wish baby's here with me to talk to me about it ): ... Sigh... Went up to get ready for th graduation ceremony, I almost cried when watching those videos that all graduation classes had make. Ended around 4+ and I went down to th canten to take picture with mdm zaleela. Although me and her not that close throughout this 2 years, but she teached me alot about life skills, values and studies, she watched me grow up too. So I took out my polaroid cam, she was like 'eh so cool!'. After ariel helped us took and watching th film to come out, she was like 'eh so cool!' Laughs ^^ Cute right! She's a teacher that loves to be pampered alot, laughs. After that, I went home straight and slept as my head's really very painful.. I really miss baby alot...

I swear I couldn't live without u..

Baby, it's been th 3rd day we've not meet each other, )': I bet u miss me damn badly inside too.. Your inside and im outside, u may think im having fun in class or outside, but I proved u wrong.. My mood has been very down for these 3days, th pains behind my smile they could see.. Nobody would understands how much we miss each other, how much we meant to each other, how much we love each other, but our heart knows th best. Baby arh, I've been having nightmares whenever I sleep, I've cried in my sleep, waking up with my pillow case wet, how like this!? )': I really miss u f-ing bad lar. How many days more then we can see each other? ): 2? 3? I really don't know until he updates me, sigh.. I've got to go to school til next friday, ): Don't tell me next week baby still going in back hostel?! When will your job call u up to work!!!??? Hurhur!

2011-09-20T20:03:00.000+08:00

Baby im sick.. )': AHHCHOOOO!~~~ See? Love sick. ♥

Today there's too many free periods in class, which is a very bad thing.. Because whenever I've got nothing to do, I'll start to miss baby. Sigh.. When I online fb, I saw jiekai online and I was wondering why can he be out early in th morning and my baby's in hostel? So I asked him. He said he has school thats why, so I asked him to pass message to my babyboy! I hope he remember what did I asked him to pass ba. Im sorry baby, I know im in th wrong for talking to a guy, but I only want him to help me pass message baby ): Thats th only way I can know what your doing inside )': Sigh.. Im sorry baby, hope u understand.. So after school wanted to eat pizza, but sabrina had to stay back to do her class graduation day video for tomorrow. Did til 4+ and left to tmall and eat mac instead. God, my face ): Ttn left after eating, so left me and sabrina. We decided to walk around to let th food digest. We went to t1>cs>tm. It was already 7+ and we quickly went home as sabrina wants to watch her show! Thanks for accompanying me, cause if I really go home straight after school, I guess I'll be missing my baby til I really cry.. Nothing feels right when your not with me baby, I feel so lonely.. I know im over-dependent on u, but I really love u silly. ♥ I hope by now you've received th message I asked him to pass u, wonder hows your job interview! Isit good? :D I hope so! Its so cold today, i really wanne hug u. And hor, I miss u til blur blur le neh! Cause I thought this saturday will be our 2nd monthsary :x Heng my friend correct me, >< Or not not fun le! HEHEHEH! Arh bi arh, I guess your phone has been spammed by me eh, how uh? Will u scold me not :/ Chialat! 3 more days, I guess when u on your phone, get ready to feel th vibration for 1hour :X ♥

Sigh.. Baby just now called me, text me.. somehow quarrel le.. Im sorry that I contact jiekai by fb, but I really just wanne ask him help me pass message only! Sigh.. We both don't know how much we miss each other, but I really miss u alot.. I didnt sleep well, have been crying myself to sleep.. I tried to do something to make myself busy, but still.. I miss your voice, your hugs, your kisses everything, I miss us.. I can feel that I ain't a good girlf of yours, really a worst girlf you've ever had.. Baby please tell me, am I? ... I really wanne talk to u..

2011-09-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

Worst than army.

This was taken on th sunday when his playing dota, >< My baby looks cute right!? ♥♥♥♥♥ AWWW! Sigh.. as i sit here typing, i wonder what baby's doing inside. Has he eaten his 3 meals? Did he get into any trouble? Did he sleep well? Did he at least cover blanket even though there's holes on th blanket? Yes, all this came into my mind again.. 3 meals is already very little for a big eater like him. He eats like 2 person's servings a meal. Now that he's inside, he cant get to eat whatever he want and i can have him constantly worrying about what im doing >< Call me superficical but i love it when he shows concern through asking a whole string of questions. Some may see it as being too possesive, i find it sexy to have your boyfriend worrying for u. ♥ HEHEHE! Please come out soon baby, I miss you badly.. Today we've texted, call each other.. But u neglect me for your sister boyf! ): Hurhur! Then you've got to leave already, my mood went seriously down in class.. Baby have been sick for somedays le, I wish I could be by your side when your sick. I would nurse you til you recover, I wish I could go in hostel to take care of u.. Today's weather so cold, heng I've got baby's jacket! I still remember when your drunk, u went up home to get for me even though I've got my own sweater. So blur th u >< HEHE! I miss those days.. After school, I went back home straight. I used fb awhile and went to sleep as im having a bad headache. Woke up around 6+ and checked my fb to see if 'he' will update me about u anot. YES FINALLY, I almost cried baby.. Th last time we didn't meet was 4 days, what about this week? I've got to wait for 5days!? T_T Sigh.. It's really worst, but u told me to treat this as a test for us. Yes I will, I'll wait for u to come out and call me baby. But still, I wish I won't cry like that day, seriously I'll miss u f-ing bad like hell. In army, their girlf's get to text them and guys replied. Outside, couples get to text each other no matter how busy they are. But baby, we can't text each other and we've got to count down th time til we're able to meet again. Saturday you'll be out. I swear Im gona make every second count on that day, I hope nothing will get in our way that day, nothing to interupt us baby. I just want to see your face. Now that we're so far away from each other, but I know your here with me. I need u baby )': U told me to remember that you'll be like an angel, watching over me in my heart, I'll remember always. You've never came out from my heart and mind before, your stuck inside like super glue! ^^ I'll hold my phone on my phone, in case baby come out le! Ohya, sudden random things came into my mind just now. Finally I find out that we've got something similar. WE LOVE TH PIZZA'S SWEET AND SPICY DRUMLET! HEHEHE! K, so random I know :/ ♥ ARH BI ARH, 'he' told me that whenever u put on that lotion, u think of me. LAUGHS! My hair fragrance isit! I didn't put perfume hor baby, next time I bathe in your house, you'll know what is natural smell. HEHEHE! I hope I'll be able to sleep well til baby come out, cause I always can't sleep well when baby's inside th )': I miss us together, I'll wait for saturday ♥

2011-09-18T21:34:00.000+08:00

This week seems so great for us, because I get to spend this 2 whole weekends with baby dearly ♥

So after I wake up, I quickly prepared and cab-ed to baby house. We watched movies in funshion, then we went down to dabao food as we're hungery. While eating, we watched 'The losers', and it's a very nice show I swear. But hor, my hair keep giving me problem, not tangled then is messy. I didn't pay much attention infront, im sorry baby ): Look at my hair below: So cui below lar. Urghs.

Watch finish, we went back room to rest on th bed. Both of us couldn't sleep, so baby play-ed dota while I look at him playing, hehe! ♥ Well, his different from other people. At least he replies me and talked to me!!!! ♥ Other people will just scold or whatever shit lar~ Baby I love u! MM..MWARHS! ♥ After that, we ordered pizza for baby me and his mum. Arrived 1 hour later which is 6.25pm, and we ate. Around 7+, we send baby back to hostel le )':

Ohya, when I touch my pimple, I can feel that it's healing!!! My pimple cream and facial foam works!!!! Just few more days or maybe 2weeks, I hope it'll heal completely please! ): I look so cui in all th photos now, sobs T_T Later my baby send me to bangaladesh how? Then he tio boot by me lar! >< HEHEHEHHE! ♥

While I mrt-ed back to tampines, I thought alot.. Suddenly my mind just went wild lar, I also don't know why.. I was thinking that, all th songs u played in my itouch or wherever, th songs seems like its relating to your ex girlf.. It feels like, cause when we're in th van, I look at your eyes while we're listening to this song.. Suddenly I felt really insecured, like your gona leave me someday.. That feelings sucks alot. Sometimes I really wonder if u still miss her when u listen song song or what.. I know I shouldn't have this thinking, shouldn't let my mind turn wild, but im really sorry )': I couldn't control either.. Sigh.. I only know, I really love u, I really do. Im trying to understand baby slowly. ♥ Zhun zhun 1 more week and it'll be our 2monthsary which is on th saturday. Your working on that day, but it's ogays! We can pator at night, so sweeeeeeeet! AWWW~ ♥♥♥♥♥ U didn't give me anything, im alrights, I just want u and nothing else. Thats all. But what I do, also express my love for u too. Hehe! Suddenly, I miss u so badly now.. I miss your botak head, HAHAHAH! :/ kai wan xiao nah, >< I miss us together, like just now. Whenever we're together, how I wish we can stay at that moment forever and it's forever. ARH BI ARH, I MISS U EH, FASTER COME OUT OGAYS! I LOVE U SILLY, MM..MWARHS!!! ♥ GOODNIGHTS SILLY, ARH BI ARH! ♥♥♥♥♥

2011-09-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

Ton at baby house + sentosa day with sisters ♥

Hellooooooooooooooo! Yesterday, which is 17 september 2011, went to giant after school with vanessa, ariel and ivy. I wanne bake muffins for baby as surprised! ♥ I've not baked for 1year+ already, skills drop, knowledge missing ): So I've got to search many many recipes! Cabb-ed to my house, and started to do already. 1st time failed, as it th batter looks like brownie cake, so we didnt baked it and find another recipe. Found 1, and we didn't buy some ingrdient so me and vaneh went down to buy. Once we go down, we bought alot food and drinks for ourself only, haha! :/ Ate my food, and I started doing myself while they slowly eat their maggie. Yes, I did it! Looks yummeh, start to bake it in th oven! :D It turns out nice and yummeh but i put too much cocoa powder so yea :/ too much taste of chocalate flavour. After they eat finish, they helped me. But hor, take 1 thing drop 1 thing, and I've got to mop th floor over and over again. My kitchen's in a very big mess! I cleared everything, kolian me ): Faster went to bathe while leaving my muffins to cool down, after I came out, my muffins left 4. Nice one.. My dog ate 8 of it.. Was so damn angery lar? Wth.. Suan le, as im in a very big rush, I faster prepare and left with vaneh. Vaneh went home while I went to find Gina hun to let her try 1 muffin I baked. Somehow quarrel-ed with baby ): Sigh.. After awhile, I cab-ed to bedok 511 to find pheer and vaneh to eat dinner. Me and pheer shared stingray, hehe! Yumyum! But ate very little as I've got not much mood to eat ): Sigh.. After that we went to th park nearby, and slack awhile. Pheer accidentally let go of th metal bar and hit til my head! Damn pain and giddy, now balaku and painful ): I really miss baby badly, so I don't care what le, I just cab-ed over to find baby and we're somehow alrights le. Pei baby drink at his house there th kopitiam, then off to baby house and stay over. Had a great day and night with baby too! ♥ I love it when I cuddle in baby's arm, so warm. AWWW! ♥♥♥♥♥ Th next day accompany baby do his card, buy mc and eat breakfast with baby! ♥ So sleepy, slept.

Today, I cab-ed home to prepare as im late for my outing with sisters! ): So yea, prepared, charged phone and then off i go! Sentosa day with sabrina, ttn, pheer, crystal and limsai was great! ♥ But... quarreled with baby again, sigh... And it's a very bad quarrel I swear, it hurts alot.. Even now, I don't think baby has th mood le ): ... Im really sorry baby...

Baby, I've got nothing to write here, I wish to talk to baby instead ): Im sorry.. Too many things that I couldn't say and that u wouldn't understand.. Too many things left unsaid, hanging and not realized.. My tears are saying all that it needs to say.. I love u, I miss u badly.. I wish god could answer me. Lastly, Im really very sorry for everything I've done.. Imma useless girlf u ever had, that gives u unhappiness everyday which your ex wouldn't give u much stress.. If 1 day u really wanne give up, tell me... Sigh... :'(

2011-09-15T21:38:00.000+08:00

HI BABY! Say hi to my pimple face, :/ LOOK, i pin up my hair, I know u love it rightxzz! Hiakhiak!

Or u want this hair ><

I know your smiling when u read my post and see my photo, awww! ♥ Tell u I've got nothing to write is fake th lar! I always got alot things to write one, hehehehe! Baby has alot of things to say, I've alot things to write ^^ Perfect isn't it! Today can't get to send baby back, sob ): I really miss u nah! But only today ogays? ): Tomorrow's friday, and yes! I'll be busying with my own thing tomorrow afternoon, sorry baby ): Need do alot things arh. BUUUTTT, I'll still go fetch baby! DURH! ♥ Hehehe, who ask u don't want let me send today, leh leh leh! Baby arh, I wondering saturday night where'll we be going eh. Go pator? Dinner? Or baby going home straight ): Comfirm go drink one lor! Kns :x HAHAHAH! Actually hor, baby hor, U BOTAK LOOKS SO CUTE LAR!!!??? ♥ So cannot keep say very weird or what ogays! Piak u one leh, really. Jialat lar baby!!!!! My father bought kfc, th smell damn strong til I can't resist temptation and went to eat also ): Its ogays, at least I got wash my mouth and wash my face straight away ^^ Hope it'll be ogays arh! I applied pimple cream too, now going orhorh looooooooooooo! Actually I can see my pimple healing, just give me few more days or weeks! Comfirm disappear th, then you'll say your pretteh girlf again! ♥ Gona sleep now, it's 11.24pm and im on my bed now! Later sleep late, baby gona scold and punish me again ): So kolian ): Goodnights babypoh!! Im gona fly over to your dream and help scratch your back, mm..mwarhs! Wan an! ♥♥♥♥♥

2011-09-14T22:20:00.000+08:00

BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Since baby can't see me in th morning, shall see my latest face here then!

K lar, I know fucking ugly because of my 2 pimples on my cheeks -.- WHATEVAAAAAA!~ Baby love me can le <3

Taurus is a true and loyal lover, so don't lose them.

Don't know what happen to th weather today. Sunny>rain>sunny>rain>cloudy rain>cloudy rain> night>rain.. Having pms or what? -.- So freaking cold in school lar! ): Im also wondering if baby's cold anot as his hostel's blacket got those small holes one ): Today stayed at home til time to prepare and fetch baby! Im late again! Saw baby on top of th bridge already, :/ Hehe, know why im late? Cause today I bathe 30mins, usually was only 15-20mins >< Th reason why I've got this 2 acne, prolly because I didn't take good care of it!!!! So I washed my face with th new biore' facial foam for 1mins and took some time to bathe clean clean! So when I met up with baby, as usual lo, wait for bus lo! Up th bus, damn packed so we stand beside th driver seat. Hugged baby and listen song <3 AWWW! I just love hugging baby lar, hehehe!!! Stay-ed at baby house til 9+, and we've to cab to baby's hostel le ): Sigh.. How I wish today's baby home leave lor.. In th cab, we chatt-ed. Til he say about his ex.. My mind starts to think alot I also don't know why.. So baby left le, my tears start to roll down my cheek..

Baby arh, you've told me about your past, I felt that im lucky to know u now and not last time. Hehe >< U said u doesn't want your past to repeat, I trust u alot baby. Don't make me lose trust on u ogays!!!! ♥ Til u asked me this question: ''baby arh, how long do u think we can last?'' Im thinking that, its not about how long can we last. We've to look at ourself, to see if we're willing to marry each other or just honeymoon love.. If a couple really wants to marry, no matter, they'll always love each other and is always loyal and trust each other all th way .Relationship is all about trust, faithful, loyal. Im really afraid that you'll get bored with me easily, ): sigh.. After that ex, I told myself that I really wanne settle down with a guy til th end if I can. I really wanne find a guy that really afraid to lose me and not letting me go easily.. I know this kind of guy is really hard to find, but I hope baby's th guy I really wanne look for. Do u know I've never learn to draw and make a letter for a guy before? Do u know I've never done that much like surprises, wake up damn early to buy breakfast or do something just to cheer a guy up? I've never done this before. I can say that im always spending money to buy things for my boyf last time. This time, I used my heart and hand to do it myself. I really really love baby alot, ♥ Really. U can say your ex also love u this much but im really true to u baby. Everytime when u say about your ex, my heart beats faster.. U said u don't love her anymore, but I keep let my mind run wild.......... 'Does baby still love her? Even never, did he miss the 1year1months memories? Is she better than me? Does she give more happiness than I gave? Is baby happier with her?' All this questions always popped up in my mind. I really wish to know baby's past love stories, but it really hurts me ): Sigh.. People said im too naive when comes to love so I always get hurt. I told them that I trust u, I really trust u. Your not that bad guy, its just your hot-tempered. I've got to accept you flaws. Everytime u walked out of th taxi, i cant help but starts missing u and eventually my tears will roll down my cheek, i miss u baby ♥ ‎1 day I'll make myself drunk and tell baby everything thats running in my mind and heart, because drunk words are sober thoughts.. There's many things left unsaid baby, u don't know only :/ because i really dont know how to say it.. Ohya! Baby asked me what song i love to listen, I just found out its 'Never let you go-janice', hehehe! 2more weeks and it'll be our 2monthsary!!!! And it'll be on th saturday, hehehe! ♥ Good good ^^ I've got idea on what to do le, *SECRET* leh leh leh leh! I love u silly, I guess your asleep by now! Im gona sleep soon too, WAIT!! Before sleep must send baby a goodnight text first, hhehe! ♥ MM..MWARHS!! ♥♥♥♥♥

2011-09-13T23:00:00.000+08:00

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss you ):

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXZZZ! Went to meet baby around 7+! <3 Reached later than baby, when I see him, his already crawling up th stairs :/ HEHEHEHE! While waiting for bus, baby look at his soccer in his ipad! After he placed his bet, his face jitao stress daoooooooooooooooo!!~ Bu xihuan look at baby when he stress, so ugly :@ When we got up th bus, listen song and hugged baby as usual :D Always no seat th, kns! I love it when we're on th bus, I just love to hug baby so much! <3 So after putting his things at his house, mrt-ed to boonkeng. Baby keep want police to screen him, laughs!! Know why? CAUSE HE NO CIG ETC LAR, DURH!~ Wooops :x When we reach boonkeng, we both are lost and we just followed people's back. But in th end, we found our way out and walked to baby's hostel. Baby halfway hailed cab and I left while baby walked alone ): And I started to miss baby f-ing bad again!!! Ohya, while we're otw there, baby was craving for kfc and even asked me to dabao go his hostel, I was like siao! Hostel leh bi! >< But, I'll dabao for baby tmr after work if he wants, shall comfirm with baby again! <3 AWW! K im so freaking tired now, shall sleep le! ): Eyes auto close one, ): Shall send baby my goodnight text and go to sleep looooo! Goodnights silly boy, mm..mwarhs!!! <3

OHYA!!! There's 1 BIG MATCH ON SUNDAY!!! Chelsea vs man u, high rights!? LOL, and tottenham vs liverpool. THIS TIME LIVERPOOL SURE WIN LAR!!!!

2011-09-12T23:30:00.000+08:00

Lantern festival!

School was normal. After school went to eat pizza with ttn, sabooon and crystal! Then we walked around til around 5pm and went home. Rest at home, text baby, and FINALLY! BABY FINALLY SAY OGAYS TO MEET HIM, HAPPYGIRL95!!!! I faster prepared and off to meet my dearest baby!!! ♥ I looked at baby, with his .... head :/ I FIND THAT BABY LOOKS SO FUCKING CUTE, HEHEHEHEH!!! Its my first time to see baby like this :/ But still, I really miss him alot, machiam we 1 year no meet le ): When we're on th bus, there's no seats for us both, so we both stand at a corner. I kept look at baby's eyes, and many things went through my mind. I hugged him, he thought Im tired but no, im thinking of things ):

I was hoping that if we could stay at that moment forever, im already satisfied.

I was thinking that we've quarreled for 2days til very jialat, im hurt.

I was thinking what's in baby's mind when I hugged him.

I was thinking how baby feel when I hugged him.

I was thinking how long would this relationship last even though we quarrelled..

I was thinking if baby's willing to be my last romance anot. (Which means marry)

Not only all this, many things really went through my mind.. Yea now im too fast to say about married, but well, I wished.. Put this aside first, what really makes me cry is that I've not meet baby for 4days, and I f-ing miss him alot! I hugged baby even tighter and I cry silently on his shoulder ): I guess baby could feel thats why he wanted to look at me. I didn't want baby to see that im crying because I didn't want him to know ): Baby kissed my forehead and hugged me tightly too! ♥ I told baby, Woah th moon blur blur one. Baby said later midnight he become wolf then say til he become vampire, LAUGHS!!! He watched too much vampire show le, but still, WHEN HE ACTS LIKE THIS, HE LOOKS REALLY CUTE ><

Baby arh, can u feel and see how much I really miss u this 4days? I wish I could show u how my heart looked like when we've not meet for 4 days already.. ):You've been saying that I don't seem to love u or miss u that much already, but look.. I really cried out and I hugged u so tightly that I don't want u to leave me ): Really.. Your hug is the warmest place, the only one place that I want everytime I'm not in the mood to calm me down. I even cried when we quarrelled that day ): So cannot say I dont love u or miss u le hor!!! When we're on th cab just now, I wish I could hug u again. I don't want u to go back to hostel ): Sigh.. How I wish we could stay at that moment when we're in th bus just now. U asked me, 'Bi arh, when do u want to go to th place that my brother and th friend was there too?' Im so afraid that baby will repeat th same thing again, which also hurts me too.. AND HOR, TH BEER VERY EXPENSIVE EH! I would rather u go buy few bottles and we sit at th same place and drink >< Hehehe! October 1st will be on th saturday, see baby want when ba! ♥ Baby arh, your a very good boyf to me le, its just that those quarrels really made us go mad lar ): Sigh.. I know I can't be th best, but I tried to, I hope baby still love me alot ogays! ♥ K after u left th cab, I miss baby til now ): But hor, I gained back my confidence to do things for baby le!!!! Because I can meet baby again niao ♥ YAY! Be prepared for surprises ahead ogays! Baby love you, mm..mwarhs!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2011-09-11T19:41:00.000+08:00

Don't you get it? Ily. I love you. I LOVE YOU. I L O V E Y O U! ♥

Today's th 3rd day we didn't meet.. And I miss baby so badly.. Yet, we quarreled again.. Or rather, treating each other so coldly? What exactly happen? ): Everytime this happens, my tears would roll down my cheeks.. Looking at baby suffering alone, and he doesn't want to tell me what his thinking, what should I do..? Look, if I don't love him, what for I always cab to th west side, cab back alone after sending baby back to hostel just to pei baby that little amount of time? As u know cab from east to west or west to east, th cab fare would be 2digit number and those money I can even use to go shopping which I love th most, I sacrificed.. What for I learn to draw those cookie monster elmo when I failed as an art student but I perservered to draw on a card just to cheer him up, when I can use those time to do my own thing, I sacrificed.. What for I wake up early in th morning 6/7am just to prepare and buy breakfast to surprised him once in a while when I can sleep like a pig at home, I sacrificed.. Why should I waste my tears to cry when we quarrel when my eyes are so precious? Its because u meant something to me. If he can find a girl or a girl friend to do those all this thing, I've got nothing to say anymore.. I shut up.. But now im his girlf, im willing to sacrificed everything just to make him happy, just to spend a little time with him. But nowadays, there's too much misunderstanding and we quarreled alot.. What exactly happen again? I wish someone could tell me th answer.. I really do love him alot, I've never thought of leaving him before. I told myself, my friends that I wants to make him my last romance, but if he don't appreciate, I really got nothing to say anymore because guys are th same.. But now, I only love him and th only Darius Poh ♥

Baby told me sebas came to th shop, we quarreled even worst.. Whenever he see til him, he'll feel guilty.. Baby doesn't know th whole story of our 1year7months, no he don't even know.. K I can say that our few months are like now, sweet couples.. Behind behind, he flirt, he lied, he didn't changed at all when he promised to. This goes on months.. years.. and finally there's one time, when im working, he went to find his closed friend's girlf house, th girl is whom he liked before knowing me. He went to complained about me, saying that I hold him too tightly etc, but th girl don't even care and continue watching her teebee. Until he gets frustrated, he pushed her to th wall and kissed her. He begged his closed friends not to tell me but one day his friend told me about it. K fine. Months passed.. He kissed other girl which he only know her few days. Then, hug another girl in his workplace, he lied that he didnt when I already know th truth.. We already broke up.. Patched again, and see if this time he really changed. I kept asking him about th girl he hug in his workplace, he continued to lie.. When he came to work on that saturday, darius always helped me to carry heavy things whenever I served customers that take dry foods. He saw and he kept saying about us and gets angry about it.. Before that day, we already quarreling and I decided to break with him so on th saturday Im cold towards him.. This time round, we officially broke up.. He told everyone that because of Darius, I broke up with him and this makes me th bad guy in th workplace. He even shouted at me in th van like wtfuck? He told other people different story which also makes me th bad guy WHEN HIS TH ONE BEING TH FUCKING BASTARD IN THIS RELATIONSHIT. Everyone doesn't know th story behind this, they make nasty comments. Do I look like I care..? Tell me.. who'll keep forgive a guy when he makes those mistake for 1YEAR 7MONTHS, even when we quarreled close to break, he still lied. Tell me who will? Even if a girl LOVE him so much, a girl has her own limit also right.. Im being sucha fool for 1year7months, really..

And baby, I just wanne tell u that Im not interested in any of them anymore. I hope after u read this, u wont feel guilty.. Because other people only listen to his story and they don't even know that his th one being th bastard first. They're blinded by his lies and friendliness.. Yes I won't know how u feel, because you've been thinking that your th one that breaks us up from th start of this love.. Im here to clear your doubt, your thinking.. Baby, I hope u know how I feel towards u too.. I hope you'll stop doubting my feelings for u le, really baby ): I wish to know what your thinking too because I don't want you to let illusions haunt u and u suffer alone.. It hurts to see u suffering alone.. I want heart to heart talks one day, but I can't find any time to talk to baby.. Sigh ): I really miss u so badly now, not only know, every seconds when u left me.. Its th 3rd day we're not meeting, when can we really meet each other again..? I know u miss me badly too, u told me ): Sigh, what I can do is only wait and look at our photos.. Today I wanted to surprised u with my breakfast, but im so afraid you'll scold me.. From that day we didn't meet til now, Im so afraid to do anything for u anymore.. Until im able to meet baby, then I can find back my confidence to do.. I really love u alot, u can say now we're only 1months+ and I can say many heartfelt words for you to hear. U can say im like those girls out there that flirt, contact guys, look at guy saying they're handsome etc, I'll prove u wrong.. Look, if there's so many guys out there that can do 9/10 things to baby can't do, why would I choose u that can do only 1/10 things? Its because 1/10 things u do satisfied me alot, im happy when im with u can le. So what if your a hostel boy, so what? Doesn't mean I cant love a hostel boy that much, treat a hostel boy more than I do ma. U can say I say all this just to make u feel better, no your wrong.. Remember my promise. I know you'll still feel that u didn't did much to show that u love me, its ogays silly. It takes time, I'll still love you like I do baby! ♥ Im very sorry for all I did to make baby upset, angry, disappointed and worrying me, im very sorry ): I hope you'll forgive me and give me a chance, or rather, give us a chance again. I know we can make it through this journey baby ♥ I love you dimpleless boy! MMM..MWARRHHS! ♥♥♥♥♥ Not forgetting this baby ): You've your ex girlf number saved in your phone, with her name stated 'sasa'.. U told me ytd she text me, everytime when u say she text u, my heart broked a little each time.. She's still waiting for you, and I know I can't be compared to her.. She gave u so much to remember, and im th worst u ever had.. I know.. All I give was worry and disappointing.. Sigh, Im sorry but each time u say, I'll think that other girls will give u much happiness than me.. Other girls will be better than me.. I really don't know what should I do baby, i always cry thinking about this.. Thinking other girls could do much better than me...

2011-09-10T22:24:00.001+08:00

I love you, please don't let your heart go easily

So I promised to bring back th photos that me and baby took that day, here's th pictures!

LOOOOOOK! MY BABY SO CUTE RIGHTS!? <3

Fail~ He using ipad dont wanne care me niao ):

His showing his stupid dimple, show your another side arh! DIMPLELESS BOY! <3

See, act cute pose #1 :/

Can see my that bloody red dot? Its not pimple, its still healing after the facial treatment!!!

I know its dark as we're in th cab sending my baby back to hostel, ): I love his cute face!

Say HI to smurf smurf!!! I ate happy meal just for this smurfy ogays! <3

My sister took my itouch just to take picture of dana~~~~ CUTE LAR CUTE LAR!

My sister and I <3 Went to eat mac today, happy meal again! But didn't get papa smurf, OOS T.T

Disiao my sister when she's transferring her contact to her new iphone >:D

Omw to counselling family day.

LOOK! My father also very cute one hor! We're tasked to make a keyboard with th clay, then my father did that big keyboard, leftover clay do mouse and computer. LAUGHS!!! Keyboard so big, mouse and screen so small!?

Byeeeeeeeeeeeee! ~

K, today quarreled with baby til very jialat.. Almost pichiakkkk! T.T Now ogays le, I love you baby <3 No matter what, Im always loyal to u! HEHE, currently we're watching soccer now. Baby supports chelsea and I support liverpool, BUEYGAM RIGHTS!? WANIAO~ Bueyhiao, haha! >< Yea, soccer ended. Chelsea win sunderland, liverpool lose to stoke ): Baby happy liao lar! :/ I love chatting on phone with my baby, his voice never failed to make me smile! <3 Just now after th match, I called baby. When I speak to baby, I know his drunk alr. LAUGHS! I know my baby too well, awwww! When my baby's drunk, he sound so cute like seriously! HAHAHA ♥ When I speak to him on phone just now, he didn't change at all. His still doing and saying th same when we first time go drink at his house there ♥ I love you baby, forever and forever never ends! Everytime his drunk, I know I can't stay over alr ): Thats what I hate th most k baby! I wanne hug my baby to sleep, im always hoping that 1 day he'll just ask me to come over his house and stay, but i don't think there'll be a chance le ba ): So, I called baby til he reached home safely and ended call with him. I think he KO on his bed alr, >< HAHAHAHHA! So silly rights, chouchou! Never bathe also :x Alrights, now's my turn to sleep. My eyes giving me problem alr ): Need my baby to kiss to heal. Im waiting for th day that baby wanne meet me, due to some problem. It's ogays! I'll be waiting baby, mm..mwarhs! I love you! <3 Goodnights!!! Wan an, fat pig!

2011-09-09T14:00:00.000+08:00

Im waiting for you ♥

It's 2pm already and baby's not calling to inform me anything ): His phone is still off, which means his not out yet and im so worried! ): I thought today he no off and will be working, but what happen inside? Hurhur! I miss him alot, don't tell me his not coming out today!? K I'LL BE MISSING HIM LIKE FUCK IF ITS SO! Shall sit and wait for baby's text then ): I hope he'll be able to come out..

It's 9pm now, Im sure baby's in hostel for th whole day ): I know 他不想的, so I ain't angry. Im just very sad that Im not able to text and fetch baby back for th whole day T.T I bet his missing me inside too! I miss you baby. So, from when I wake up til now, my head is freaking giddy, and its damn giddy lar ): But I kept calling people up if anyone wants to go out eat. Everyone's not free! Fucked up, and around 7, my sister called me ask if I eat already. I suggested to go macdonald as I know happy meal is giving th smurf toy! Although I haven't watch th movie with baby, but one day we'll be able to watch together ^^ No matter in internet or cinema. So I got th smurf with love instead of papa smurf, next time ba :D After eating, we went to tm to get my itouch4 cover, bluey! I also don't know why I like blue, pink also, but cannot be everything pink ma hor? I chose blue and we went home after that. I really miss my baby alot, I wonder what his doing inside too ): Did he eat full full? Did he sleep well? Did he cover blanket and not catch a cold? Did he get into any trouble? Is he bored inside? (I don't think so :/, heheheh!) Did he open up his locker just to see our photo? Lastly, did he miss me? I've been thinking of this all along when his inside.. ): Look how much I really miss him.. ♥

Baby, I hope u know that im worried and missing u badly today.. ): Remember u once told me that u don't wanne change job now because you've to stay inside for days til the people call u up for interview which u don't want this to happen? As u know you'll be missing me badly too? ): Today is th test for us.. Sigh.. But I know, I'll be able to text and fetch you back tomorrow!!! Yes I know, hehehe! I know your missing me badly too, mm..mwarhs! Everytime when I opened up my itouch, I saw your BLOODY CUTE FACE!!! HEHEHEHE! Why u so cute? :$ AWWW! I LOVE YOU BABY, I'll be waiting for your morning text tomorrow! Must ogays! Don't scare me again, because it's really killing me today + Im having a very bad headache.. How I wish your here to kiss me. ♥

2011-09-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

Itouch4 + pictures ♥

Early in th morning I thought what had happen to baby, cause he didn't reply my text nor answering my call ): In th end I know that baby's still angry with me about yesterday ): im very sorry baby!!! Yea we quarreled, but we still love each other as we do! ♥ Baby suddenly text me this: ''I nv say love you today :( I love baby! (L) HOW SWEET CAN MY BABY BE LAR!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥Yes, I went to buy my itouch4!!!! ♥ No ipad2 for me ): And my stupid baby kept on saying this: ''Eh why itouch4 so small!? Even my iphone bigger sial, why uh!?'' K THIS DEFINITELY SOUNDS SARCASTIC LAR! :@ And I don't know what get to him today, he kept talking back to me non-sttopppp and its really nonstop, thought I didn't speak a word!!! But hor.. no matter what hor... I STILL LOVE MY DEAREST BOYF LIKE DURH! ♥♥♥♥ HEHEHEH! Fetch him from work and off to his house, we took loads of pictures! ♥ Im angry of him for deleting some ): HATE HIM LAR! I admit, his ipad camera is much more better :/ OF COURSE LAR, WANIAO! D: After that, took cab send baby back to his hostel and back home ): When we're in th cab, I've been always holding onto my itouch to wait for th light to shine in th cab so I'll be able to get th chance and take pictures with baby, we did it! ♥ HEHEHE. He looks cute whut, why he always don't like take picture! Shall post up th pictures tmr or whut after I edit ^^ and u know what? I love baby's singing, :D SO CUTE LAR, HAHAHAH! Yea, he sang in th cab that I really wanne kissed and hugged him! After baby left, th taxi driver starts to talk to me. He told me about his son's past problems, well, nowadays when I cab, most taxi drivers like to talk to me about their story. Quite saddening too ): Looking at their troubled face makes me reflect more on myself.

I always think, why do strangers(older) knows best about us? Like in relationship, th uncle told me that im being a caring and loving girlf as I stay in th east and boyf stay in th west, yet I sacrificed my time to fetch him back and cab home alone. Some girls won't even do this lar, frankly speaking. Taxi driver told me that he'll(boyf) someday realised that im really a good girlf and cherished me alot alot and not like others which get bored easily. What I gave was a smile only because I know I can't control anyone. Its either he'll appreciates and really cherished me like im th only girl or throw me away like a toy, it just depends. No one can predict ma! I only know that I'll use my last chance to love my boyf as much as I can, if he really don't want me one day, I've got nothing to do anymore! ): I know I won't leave him, that's my promised to him and my promise will forever be a promise <3 I know th real definition of promise so I know. Don't you get it? Ily. I love you. I LOVE YOU. I L O V E Y O U! ♥

Baby, I know you'll stalk my blog! <3 Tmr tell u th whole story ogays! ^^ Mm..mwarhs! I love you baby!!! Ohya, th taxi driver said that your a gentlemen, I laugh! HAHAHAHHA!!!! No lar, cause he said when u first step into th cab and by your talking, he can see your really a gentleman and your a good guy arh! He told me to send his regards to u and tell u to be a gentleman and cherish me!!! I help u pass message only :D HEHEHE! I love u no matter what baby, mwarhs!! And I do really miss u alot, I hope your missing me too! Hmm, I think your also sleeping so soundly right now, can I go in and sleep with u baby? :/ HEHEHE! My eyes are so tired, shall send baby a goodnight message and off to sleep! So I'll be able to send baby morning text before u send me ogays! Zaijiannnnnnn! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2011-09-07T21:42:00.000+08:00

3rd day nlevel- english.

I can say that english is as easy as abc lar!? But questions are tricky, i can't comfirm if I'll pass also. And even if can, we're all competing with other high school! Well, at least we know we that we tried our very best can le :D Jiayou everyone for october's paper! ^^

After th paper, went home. Did a card again for my dearest baby! :D Since he told me th previous day he wasn't in a mood to send me a long sweet message, no matter what reason, I'll still do something to surprise him and cheer him up! <3 He said that he likes th cookie monster, but I drew him as elmo, A REAL FAT ELMO :D Hiak hiak hiak! >:D Don't care, cookie monster is me! Nom-ing on cookies, aww so cute lar!? Nom nom nom ^^ But after that somehow quarrel with baby, its an misunderstanding baby ); Sigh... Baby went back le, and I can't tell him.. Anyway, I hope baby loves what I gave him! <3 It tooks me alot of time to draw ogays! First timer :/ Although it's not well-drawn but its full of sincerity and I drew with my heart in ogays!!! Im missing my baby right now, sigh ): I didn't get to send him back cause Im broke, so does baby! ): Must save save niao, or not really cmi. This whole week no school, shiokness! <3 but still, nothing to do also. Shall either make breakfast for baby or find things to do ba! :D

Graduation day is on th 21st of september. When im in th bus, suddenly my mind think of it. It gaves me a feeling that I'll cry on the graduation say.. Even though teacher's really pissed me off sometimes, but they had teach me for th whole 4years. I admit I did whined and complained that I would like to leave this school fast because of th nagging and scolding. But when I refect, I regretted to think this way. I can even see th difference in me from sec 1 til now, a very big jump with a very big change. I used to be very childish and naughty when Im sec 1, do things without thinking, never study etc. But now, I will think for my future already. 16years old with no future, pathetic? Its VERY pathetic, so I've got to study real hard. Teachers told me to go on a longer route to my future as they know I can't cope in my nlevel already. They said ITE isn't a route to hell, it's just that th learning journey will be slower for me. But now, im always striving hard to do my best in my exam, I really tried my very best. I really hope I can go up to sec5 ): Pray hard for me ogays ! <3

Shall sleep early today, so that baby will not worry for me! <3 Hehe, I love you baby! I hope you'll love th card I did today, cannot lose it, crumpled it k! Will fight one sial! :/ And don't misunderstand me le, I really never wanne... Shall not say here... Im sorry ): I hope you know I really miss you alot, alot more than you think! <3 Mm..mwarhs!

2011-09-06T20:42:00.000+08:00

2nd day of Nlevel-SS.

I screw-ed my ss essay ONLY. I did study for my ss ogays, but i cant memorise all whut. ): Im smart with a dusty brain right! D: Anyway, baby's 'Goodluck baby!! (L)(L)(L) must do well hor! :)'' did really cheer me up although I feel really upset about yesterday not meeting baby. Like seriously, or not I'll be sleeping for th whole paper already as I once thought of giving up my combined humanities :/ So after th paper, I rush-ed to do my facial ^^ I admit my face look cui now but it's healing! Where got 1 facial will heal immediately right! After my facial, I went home rest and off to meet my DIMPLELESS BABY! <3

Baby arh!!! I really love you alot alot, I may not be your longest and sweetest but I'll still try no matter what. I know you've heard many of my heartfelt words, but Im proving it slowly! <3 I hope one day you'll realised that Im really trying my best to pei he baby, to be perfect for baby. I mean in real, not just to make each other happy by saying only. Look! We've even lessen our quarrels and u never failed to make me smile each day! :D Who ask u no dimple!? LALALA, :D So everytime when u miss and love me, MUST ADMIT K! Or not I jab u 3 4 times, then pull u up again boot u til u fall! LAUGHS! SEE LAR! U influenced me again >< HAHHAHAHHA!!!! I love u lar silly!!!! <3 I love how every time I doubt you, you prove me completely wrong! ^^ Remember me tonight when you're asleep ogays! ITS ALSO AN ORDER, OR NOT I BECOME DULAN JIAO, NEVER GIVE CHANCE. No spiking my mind with your million kisses and love, no use already! HEHEHEH <3 <3 <3 <3 <3!!! I can't resist smiling at what you say everyday. You just make me smile with your silly, simple words. Goodnights baby! Shall wait for your goodluck before my paper 2 starts! Zaijian! :D MMM..MWARHHHHSSS!!!!

2011-09-05T19:55:00.001+08:00

First day of Nlevel-mt.

I can say that I screw-ed my paper 1.. Sigh.. Well, mt paper is down so I shall concentrate on other subjects now. Tomorrow will be lc and ss, and I also can say my combined humanities will be screw-ed no matter what too. Even my ss can, my history will bring my marks down ): Sigh... 1st day passed so quickly. .

Im gonna get an itouch 4 real soon, wanted to get ipad 2 but there's nothing much I can do in it too. So itouch 4 will do (: Prolly tomorrow or wednesday and im able to get it!

Today didn't get to see baby as his sick ): Bad things happen to him, hurhur! I can't do anything, only can use my words to help him(nothing useful).. Im sneezing badly too, so does baby. Both of us sick? His having bad headache too!!! T.T Today's weather sucks to th core, rain awhile stop rain awhile stop. Wtfuck lar? -.- I miss baby so much yet Im worrying for him too ): I don't know what exactly happen to his back actually.. I only can wait til th day I meet baby then I can see, 2 days no meet baby le, can u know how badly I missed him? D: ...

2011-09-04T09:36:00.000+08:00

Surprised! <3

Yesterday went to mac find sabooon eat first, then off to cs shopped around while waiting for ttn! Studied at manpuku til 4+ then we walk-ed around and we bought slippers :D HEHE! Cheap cheap! Hmm, all went home so I also went home luuu. Rest at home til 7+ and off to fetch baby! <3 Im like so sweet lar, HAHAH! Bhb :/ When I saw baby holding onto th ipad 2, i kept glancing at him and the ipad 2 and smiled away. LIKE WTHELL LOR! >< Reached baby house, we watched movie while waiting for his mummy to buy him dinner. Woahs, they eat really no give chance one sial :x I see also scared, LAUGHS!! Chit-chatted with baby's mum along th way, was so afraid :x But kinda friendly and cute too! :D We watched 見鬼2 together ^^ After I watch a scary movie I get really paranoid :/ His mum chats with me while baby went in th room. Baby kept on calling me in but his mum is talking to me ): Finally th conversation has end, I went to baby room to find him. Then, baby was so damn sleepy ): So I had to cab back home, wanted to hug baby to sleep before I leave but his mum was still awake. So yea.. Baby eventually slept after I left.

Today, actually going meet sab at 10am, but she said she had to stay home ): So I went to bathe and went t1 to dabao breakfast for baby and give him a surprised as I failed to do it on saturday ): So yea, dabao 2 otah thick toast bread and bus-ed to ikea there. When I alighted, baby was there already but heng he was using his ipad 2, didn't see me >< I jumped infront of him and he was shock! :// Blurblur why I over there. Pass-ed him his breakfast and left after he went in th bus <3 AWWW, anyone wanne be my boyf? HAHAHAHA! >< Too biad~ I've got only one and only boyf which is Darius Poh <3 HEHEHEH! I love u baby <3 Hope you'll appreciate it and love it!! ^^ Shall cook breakfast for baby when I've got time, today abit rush that's why I saw him at th bus stop already ): Baby told me his super full now! HAHAHA, otah thick toast bread + th noodle ahneh bought for it, power max! >< But great, because I don't have to worry for baby that he'll get gastric pain! Everytime when he told me his having gastric pain, I've got no idea on what to do to help baby because its either we both are working tgt or im having school ): But now, maybe I've got more time to dabao or make breakfast for baby after th 3 days of Nlevel paper in september :D He told me that it's been a long time since he get his last surprised by don't know who~ But now, it's me who'll make his life interesting and worthwhile! <3 LIKE DURHHH!!~ HAHAHAHA! Hmm.. later baby's god-mother will send him back so I won't be seeing baby today ): Sobsob! So I only can study and text baby to let th time pass faster. I miss baby hell loads, I hope he misses me too <3 Ohya!! Baby and I wanne watch smurf 3D and the mrbean that show!! Wondering when can we watch together :D We're looking forward for th day that we can watch smurf!!! SMURF SMURF, I SMURF BABY! <3

Am having bad headache after I reached home ): I fell asleep 2 times and almost quarrel with baby ): Im very sorry baby, but trust me.. I really never do anything bad behind baby's back, but I fell asleep on th sofa instead ): Do u know how much I love u? I think u don't i guess? T.T Im still wondering how can I prove to my baby that I love him wholeheartedly and never wanne leave him. Tomorrow's Nlevel day and GG, i'm having real bad headache. Kidding me!? Urghs _l_ I can't absorb anything from just now til now ): Ogays, Im gonna try and study for my chinese exams tomorrow. Hopefully I can absorb something and not get distracted by anything! Wish me goodluck k! :D Lastly, I miss Darius Poh, my boyfriend <3

2011-09-03T00:43:00.000+08:00

Club lalaland.

Baby think he very humorous hur, he told me that he'll be going to club lalalnd soon. I chuatio sia! I told him, want die isit!? Then slowly I understand what he meant already, his going to his lalaland now. :/ LAUGHS! At first I heard neverland, god~ I miss chatting with baby on phone before we both KO on our bed, <3 Listening to his voice never failed to make me smile! :D Shall sleep after I shower my body, feels refreshing bathing before sleeping, isn't it!? Aye! Baby don't know only >< HAHAHA! I love silly lar! <3 He really never failed to make me smile everyday, I love it alot! I wish I can stay at that moment with him during that day at th beach <3 Woahs, i miss baby alot leh! Buey tahan ): Hmm, its 1am now. Shall sleep now, wanne send baby to work th! (If I can wake up) Wanne give baby a surprise, hehehe! :D I wanted to make breakfast for baby, but ahneh will buy for him, so I don't know eh ): Not enough time also, sigh. Its ogays! There's many chance that I can make th :D GOODNIGHTS BABY, SHALL JOIN IN YOUR CLUB LALALAND <3 HEHEHE! MMM..MWARHS!

2011-09-02T21:52:00.000+08:00

Saw this at people's blog.

To me , yes she exist .

But she isn't the supermodel type with perfect features , long legs and perfect skin .

She's even better .

But most guys overlook

Because at her worst ,

she's insecure , clingy , shallow , jealous , nagging ,

sensitive , emotional , dramatic and annoying .

But if you can't handle her and her worst , you don't deserve her at her best .

They is perfect in her own way , but their partner always tend to take them for granted ...

She dresses up all cute and pretty every time you take her out on a date.
This is her way of keeping you interested as your eyes are locked solely on her.
But you stare at other girls instead, and she gets hurt and upset that all her time and effort were put to waste.

You call her insecure.

She holds on to you like she’s never letting you go.
This is her way of telling other girls that she’s lucky that she has you, and no, you’re not available.

You call her clingy.

She calls you the sweetest nicknames, or ones that only you two will understand.
This is her way of saying how special you are, and that there’s nobody else in this world like you.
You call other girls “babe” just as how you would call her, and she gets disappointed.

You call her shallow and jealous.

She checks up on you, making sure you made it home safely
or that you’re not out getting yourself into any kind of trouble.
This is her way of showing how often she thinks about you
and that she worries constantly because that’s how much she cares.

You say she’s nagging.

She cries when you do or say something wrong.
This is her way of saying “That hurt only because YOU said it and I love YOU.”

You call her overly sensitive and emotional.

She loves you more than you love her.
This is her way of dealing with the fact that your relationship wasn’t like how it used to be,
but she is willing to make room for more love and some changes. You push her away.

You call her dramatic and annoying.

So go ahead.
Leave the insecure, clingy, jealous, nagging, overly sensitive, annoying girl.

2011-09-02T16:47:00.000+08:00

Pay day.

Woke up as fast as I could as I can sense that I've got a message. It's from baby! <3 HEHEH. He came out from hostel early in th morning, but I set alarm at 11am :/ Baby had just bought an ipad 2! Ohmygahd~ I also want eh >< But I know I've got no use for ipad 2 cause I don't really need it, it's just game, movie, video etc with a bigger screen. What Im afraid is that baby will care more on his ipad 2 than me!!! ROAR!~ Must snatch away from him niao :/ Hehe! Went to take my pay, then after that wanted to find baby but he must accompany his mummy, it's ogays! I understand, I know I can't be selfish to keep say I wanne find him. So I went home instead! Th weather's really hot that I could feel th heat crawling up my body and my baby's in his aircon room! UNFAIR RIGHTS! Finally reached home, and baby eventually fell asleep while texting me ): He must be real tired. Hurhur! ): I miss baby alot alot.. What time his gona wake up from his sleep!!! 10pm? 12am? ): FASTER WAKE UP LAR BABY! I MISS U ALOT <3 I WANNE HUG BABY TO SLEEP ): Wondering after baby wake up will go where.. Clubbing? Pub? Sigh...

MWAHAHAHHA, I just ate my dinner, which is my baby gave me idea of what to eat. > Fried fish meat noodle with milk, yumyum! ^^ He kept forgetting I don't eat chilli! ): He eat chilli don't give chance one sial >< HAHAHAH! Baby's out already, he'll be drinking later on ): I miss baby alot how! I really love baby more and more each day, not lesser than yesterday <3 I find baby beri cute eh, AWWWWWW <3 But his been texting me that im very cute instead, HAHAHHAHAHA!!! <3 I really hope his th guy I need not say goodbye to, i hope he'll appreciate what I've done for him and not take me for granted. Because i've sacrificed for many people already, they don't cherish and they regret. I think what I've done has shown how much I love him, if people don't appreciate, I've got nothing to do and don't know what to say anymore ): Sorry baby, I love u! <3 mm..mwarhs!!! Gona be 9pm, so bored ): I miss baby alot!!! ):

2011-09-02T00:26:00.000+08:00

A new life.

Hi! This will be my new blog, new beginning because I've got a new boyf! Today was our 1monthsary! HEHEHE! Although baby had to work til 7+, but I went to fetch him and went to baby house for awhile before cabing back to his hostel! I showed him what I've done for him in th bus, he's touched and kissed me on th forehead! AWWW, ji sweet yi xia! & I displayed th card in his room on th table, he said he'll read it before he go back to hostel. HEHEHHE! SWEET RIGHTS!? <3 Mai jealous, he'll be mine forever! Don't u dare snatch him away, mwahahhaha! :D Evil smile~ I really love him alot, I don't know why but I just love him alot. Its th simple things he did that made me love him more because it has true meaning behind th simple things! <3 People may tell me his a hostel guy, how to live with him, he won't be suitable for u etc. I will not care because u people don't know how happy am I to be with him and how he actually makes me feel when I'm with him. Hor baby! ^^ I've been in alot of hurtful relationships before, I really wonder who'll actually appreciates what I've done for him and love me like I do. Regret will be too late rights? So I really hope baby will be my very last romance and will not get sick of me. I know I ain't perfect and I don't know what kind of girl he likes most, I'll always try my very best. This baby of mine, always likes to tell me about cars and motors everyday! Non-stop k! If next time I go out with anyone and I tell u about cars, don't blame me please :/ I get easily influenced! Eating, tired easily, car motor, fight all kana influenced by baby :x WOOOOPS! LALALA, shall let this blog get alive already! Must see baby willing to take picture with me anot :/ hehehe! Anyway, N level is just next monday, im dying.. Must really study le, or not baby don't want me ): Shall end here, looking forward for tomorrow because baby will be having his home leave I guess so! YAY! <3 I miss silly alot alot right now, shall KO on my bed now to let th time pass faster! Goodnights baby! <3